Short and to the point and absolutely no offense to anyone. I've never been sexually attracted to men or their penises, like ladies have always done it for me. BUT. With Elliot Page coming out as trans recently I had the thought of wonder if he'll have a bottom surgery, accompanied by the thought of penis. Haha. But like penis in a good way, which is not my norm at all, has legit never happened in like 31 years of existence, and honestly the thought kind of turned me on. So now for the past few weeks I've kind of been questioning my sexuality. Like maybe did I just meet all the wrong guys in my younger years and just assumed there was no attraction with any, I feeeeeel like I dont even really know myself. It's been a weird few weeks to say the least.
I mean not exactly. But thinking about about him as a person and with a penis did, if that makes sense? Which then made me question if maybe I just never formed an attraction to men because I never saw a guy I was attracted to, or if maybe I would be into transmasc guys, idk. I guess ultimately I'm saying the thought of hooking up with a transmasc guy kind of turns me on now since exploring more into trans guys which in turn has lead me into further questioning of myself.
Is it possible that you are now starting to consider the possibility of being with someone who is male because there is now a specific male who you have already been attracted to as a woman, and that at a deeper or subconscious level you still find him safe because he is not really a man? Please do not take this as an insult or an accusation. I am coming at this subject as a woman who was assigned male at birth and who has been involved with a number of people who did not really consider her (or other transitioned women) a real woman.
I didn't say he wasn't a real man? And I view everyone and respect everyone as their preferred gender. I'm just trying to simply say how I felt/feel. And yes I've always been a fan of his. But also I've explored more into trans men and honestly I have come to find alot of trans men sexually attractive, which has lead to me questioning. I'm in a tiny a$$ southern town too so I've personally never met any trans men, I've hung out with several trans women though. And the local selection of males has never been good, so theres also that. I did date guys in h.s. and my late teens, I just never felt a sexual connection to any of those people, therefore I never had sex with any of them. With that being said, if I've never been with a man how do I know for sure that it's not for me. Questioning myself in general.
Please refer to this to see why I ask such questions https://forum.emptyclosets.com/index.php?threads/despair-over-ever-really-being-accepted.486709/
Hey. I sincerely apologize if this was offensive at all. And in my initial post when I mentioned not being attracted to penis it was meant as past tense. And I'm also sorry for saying trans man, I know a trans man is a man vice versa, I only said it so that what I was saying wouldn't be confusing... Again I apologize. And after much thought and consideration I think I may be leaning more toward the bi spectrum. I've realized that men in fact do turn me on, it's just specific types of men. I feel I'm more attracted to the types of guys who are my size and well kept, such as nice cleanly nails, and neat kept facial hair. And from my experience I really have never met any well kept men irl other than my gay friends. Also from my experience straight guys who were amab have always been just disrespectful on some level or levels, and just distant emotionally. And I guess I suspect a guy who has transitioned would be more respectful and just there, because on some level they know what it's like to be disrespected or not loved. Not to mention they know who they are and who they want to be, and imo that is the perfect male.
This was often my experience also but in the past year I got to know a friend much better and he was actually such a great and respectful guy that we are now in a relationship. I am sorry but this is not necessarily true, I have met trans guys who were as toxic as some of the most toxic cis men I have ever met - some I knew only online but some I have known IRL and I even married one. It is the who the person is and how they treat other people that count not the birth assignment. This might be true, I have found it to be true for myself after years of thinking I was a lesbian and then asexual. Maybe some day you might even find a cis man who fits your requirements, or not. Whoever you do find I hope that you have a good, respectful and caring relationship with them.
