Sorry guys

Don't consider it wasting time or be sorry - Part of EC's purpose is to help people is to help people figure what their sexuality (or gender identity) is, regardless of where it ends up being on the spectrum Glad you were able to achieve some clarity

 

Do not worry about it, as HM03 said that is part of why we are here. If you still have questions do not hesitate to ask.

 

It wasn't a waste of time, and you have nothing to be sorry about. You never lied; you've been honest from the get-go that you were questioning your orientation. Heterosexual people are still welcome here, from what I've seen. Regardless of whether you're straight or not, it was worth coming here to talk with us.

 

Interesting in your attraction were you ever sexually aroused at women?

 

As the others have said there is no reason to be sorry, if we have helped you understand your position better or just been there when you need to talk then its not a waste of time. EC is an LGBT forum but thats not to say that we want everyone here to be gay. If people come here and figure out they are straight then that is equally fine by us, we just want to help people figure themselves out.
You might find that as you work on your self esteem your feelings on the matter change and if they do then thats cool and if they dont then that is also fine.

 

I mean a lot of gay folk can picture themselves with the opposite sex due to heteronormativity. I think you're gay if you can get off to women

 

I guess. it just there's a disconnect between the physical and mental. I would say a lot of homosexuals especially those that were in romantic relationship feel a strong pull to their partner and do not want to end even though there's a lack of physical attraction. You might be a part of this group and these relationships end up with regret on both ends.

 

That's good that you accept that physical attraction is a necessity. The one thing I hate about the community, is in hiding away due to great (or very real threats) we end up hurting 2 lives. We deprive ourselves, our partners, and maybe children of a happy fulfilling life. Don't do this to yourself or your loved ones.

 

Are you sexually attracted to men? Do men float your boat? Or is it entirely or mostly emotional?

 

Nah you're gay. Don't lie to yourself. Your discomfort and lack of emotional attraction to women stem from homophobia. Go to therapy find peace within yourself not an image paint by society.

 

@jjusa I want to acknowledge what you’re saying and feeling about being emotionally attracted to men but not sexually attracted to them and your exploration with women. Sexual and emotional attraction come in a wide variety of combos. You can be romantically attracted one way and sexually attracted in a different direction. Your emotional side can be homoromantic, heteromantic, biromantic, or aromantic. Your physical side can be homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, or asexual.

I knew from 16 that I was sexually attracted to women, but they scared the daylights outta me. So, I continued relationships with men. My mom was emotionally and physically abusive toward me. Most of my life, Ive stayed away from female relationships/friendships terrified and convinced they would hurt me like she did. It’s not until my 40s and tons of trauma therapy that I’ve come to a place where I’ve healed the effects of abuse and feel emotionally connected to women. My orientation wasn’t part of that process until recently. Now, I have full friendships with women and feel settled identifying as gay. It feels liberating and free.

In no way am I saying this is your story! I’m only saying that self-discovery can take time and follow many different paths. Where those paths lead, who you meet along the way, the surprises you encounter, and the things you realize have always been there.... NONE of it is a waste of time, and ALL of it is yours to discover. Whatever combo your orientation is, it’s yours, and it’s beautiful.

 

That's a pretty big claim to make without actually knowing @jjusa or the reasons for her feelings. It's not anyone's job here to tell another what they are or aren't; we can help them figure things out, but dealing in absolutes...is not wise.

@jjusa: The only person who can work out what your orientation is, is you. I urge you to continue exploring your thoughts and feelings, research, and continue reading other threads on EC to see what does and doesn't resonate with you.