I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years a week ago, so it might not be the perfect time to think about my identity, because I'm still really sad about our relationship ending. But during our relationship I started to question my sexuality. I always kind of knew that I was attracted to women, but it was always more of a fantasy thing? What I mean is that I found women in movies attractive but I haven't been interested attracted to a women in real life. That's why I haven't really considered dating a woman before. But after I started questioning my sexuality (in combination with my relationship) I had multiple panic attacks, once even while I was asleep? I think the main reason was that I was scared that the relationship would cause me to stop finding out who I truly was. I also suppressed a lot of my unhappiness in the relationship. This all kind of lead to me not feeling like myself in the relationship and the feeling that something was really off. And now I'm scared that I suppress my feelings for women so much that I don't even know whether I'm attracted to women or not? I find women really attractive but I can't imagine having sex with one (despite for example finding boobs attractive). I liked sex with my boyfriend, although I often struggled with thinking to much about how he liked it and not about myself. I'm just afraid that I faked my affections for him, although I really miss him. I'm sorry for writing so chaotic, I'm just really confused right now and don't know what to do. Can anyone maybe give me tips about finding out what I truly want?
Hey there! Welcome to EC! First thing first. Take a breath. You don’t need to figure this out right this minute. Take time to grieve your newly ended relationship and give yourself time for the fog to clear. The more you post and read here, the easier it will be to navigate where you’re going. You can make a note of who you think about during your alone time and who catches your eye when you’re out and about. Whenever that happens. *eyeroll* As you notice a pattern, things will start to make sense. You’ll get there. :}
Hey, @Laurar279, and welcome to EC! @Really is right; for now, there's no rush to figure any of this out. You've just ended a relationship, which is no easy thing. Give yourself time to feel your feelings, to properly mourn what's gone before diving into something else that's giving you turmoil. The fact that you're questioning is perfectly healthy, and even if you've never been able to imagine sex with a woman, it doesn't mean you might not entertain the idea later. If you're more than bi-curious, it can take time for you to fully understand, accept, and then embrace your sexuality. For some people, the process is fairly quick and they know who and what they are early on. For others, it takes time, goes through various stages of ups and downs. The great thing is, EC is a wonderful place to work through these things. Many of the members are incredibly supportive, and you'll find a lot of threads that might resonate with you.
Thank you really much for your kind answers. You are right- I'm gonna try to focus on my feelings with my relationship right now and try to figure the rest out later. Again thank you, this already helped a lot.
Hey welcome to EC. In some ways the fact your relationship has ended means it's a good time to consider yourself and your sexuality and all of those things. They are never easy but always easier when you are not in a relationship. As the others said there is no rush, let yourself imagine being with a woman and see how that feels. Sit and watch the world go by (trickier at the moment of course) and just see who catches your eye.
