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Thinking of becoming a woman

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by TGR682, Jan 14, 2021.

  1. TGR682

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    I hope this is the right place to post this!
    Anyway, new member here. I am a straight man. Lately, I've been having thoughts of being a woman.
    Some background - 2 years ago a psychotic crisis has been caused in me, which has disabled me quite significantly, and I am also on the Autistic Spectrum - High Functioning. Currently I work at a safe-house for mentally-ill people.
    Back to the point - I did 2 small quizzes over Google and they told me I am not transgender. However, sometimes it appears that being a trans woman is the right thing for me, because it seems that a small part of me wants to be one.
    I called my local mental health first-aid number and the representative told me that my feelings of wanting to be a woman have to do with the crisis and not a real thing. Important point - I never felt non-belonging to my body in my entire life. I just want to be a woman for fun.
    My therapist appointment is due in 3 days from now and I can't wait to find out the answers (the which I am probably looking for - that validate that I am deep down a woman (this thought has me really excited!)).

    I haven't been in forums for a long time due to the crisis so I am sorry if my post is a bit messy. I have to practice this haha!

    I love the idea of wearing wonderful dresses, having wonderful nails and walking a feminine walk I tried at home and it feels kinda nice.
     
  2. Hawk

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    First, no transgender person transitions "for fun". It's good that you're seeing a therapist soon. If it's only the clothing, makeup or fashion appeals to you, you could be a feminine or crossdressing man. If you are questioning your gender identity, there's also Non-Binary, though I would start with speaking with a therapist and working on your mental health first, and if there's a crisis that has happened in your past, as the mental health operator has mentioned, that could be causing confusion regarding your gender identity.
     
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  3. TGR682

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    I know that transitions are not just for fun, yes. I just think that it has to do with the crisis right now. The crisis is as I have not mentioned, partially behind me. However, there may be leftovers unattended, about which I will have to discuss with my therapist.
    My intuitive mother agrees with my assumption that this urge to become a woman is a psychotic and dangerous move for me.

    Thank you for your very kind reply, highly appreciated! :slight_smile:
     
  4. solarcat

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    I don't know what your crisis was, or how that would affect you, but it's definitely something you should discuss with your therapist.

    What is it about being a woman that excites you? Just the clothes and style? When did you start considering you might be trans, and why?
     
  5. TGR682

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    The psychotic crisis I mentioned is in treatment with mostly medications and some therapy, as therapy is not the primary treatment technique for psychosis.
    Anyway, what excites me about being a woman is the idea of dressing as one, feeling like one and perhaps if possible (I have not allot of knowledge about being transgender), become pregnant with children. I also love the idea of modeling as a woman.
     
  6. QuietPeace

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    Dressing - You can dress in stereotypically female clothing without transitioning.

    Feeling like a woman - if you actually are a woman then you can start feeling it by just accepting that you are a woman. I do not have to dress or wear makeup to "feel like a woman", I just know that I am.

    Pregnancy & details of transition - It is not currently possible for someone who was assigned male at birth to become pregnant. Transition involves living in the part as female and then optionally medically transitioning. Medical transition can involve taking hormones which helps feminize the appearance and this can be assisted with several different types of surgery to feminize appearance including facial modifications, adams apple removal, breast augmentation and others. Then there is possibly gender confirmation surgery which can simply be removal of testes (orchiectomy), conversion of penis/scrotum to external appearance only (labiaplasty) or the most radical bottom surgery vaginoplasty which removes the testes and then converts the penis and scrotum to the external appearance of labia and constructs a neovagina (a true vagina cannot be constructed as it is a tunnel of muscle). Almost all AMAB persons who want to transition and appear convincing also need hair removal as the hormones do not get rid of facial hair and the body hair changes take many years and most are not willing to wait 10 or more years to not have arm and chest hair.

    Modeling - it is extremely rare for a cis woman to be able to be a model, it is even more rare for a transitioned woman to be able to do this.
     
    #6 QuietPeace, Jan 15, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2021
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  7. TGR682

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    Yes, I know about the clothing. I haven't tried any yet.
    I am not a woman as described at my profile page. I am a man. I am struggling with the whole woman identity right now. My psychiatrist assumes it has to do with a bit of medications as I understood by her, and because I lack something in life according to her.

    Thank you for the details about how it's like to be a transgender man, including the pregnancy part.

    As for modeling, I don't have to be an "official" model in order to model. I can do with without much fame either, and also by just dressing in beautiful ways.

    To summarize what is going on right now with me - I am in confusion. My psychiatrist said it's not real, also due to the fact that I never felt like a woman in my entire life, and I am 26. As I said, I think, the mental health first-aid representative I talked to said the feelings of wanting to become a woman have to do with my gender. My mother says it's probably temporary and that she has difficulties bearing that assumption of mine that I should become a woman as it is a burden for her to know that.

    If I have more info to add, I will edit this post and add it.
     
  8. TGR682

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    I can't find a way to edit one of my posts here, so I will mention that I forgot to answer a question - when did I think of being a TG. It started this Sunday noon.
     
  9. QuietPeace

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    A little bit on terminology

    A person who is AMAB (assigned male at birth) who feels that they are female is usually referred to as a Trans Woman, Trangender Woman or things like that (I personally do not use this I simply say that I am a woman)

    A person who is AFAB (assigned female at birth) who feels that they are male is usually referred to as a Trans Man or Transgender Man. (there are several trans men who have been pregnant before transitioning or even after if they have not had their uterus removed yet)

    These two things indicate that you really need to consider a lot of things first. If you have only thought of this for less than a week you have a lot to consider and learn first. Transition is a long process which requires first working with a therapist and then going through the long process. Go ahead and work with a therapist and see how you really feel about who you are inside.

    Though
    You do not have to have considered yourself female for your entire life in order for transition to be the right thing for you. Many only realize later in life, though the fact that you only thought about it after a psychotic episode does indicate that care should be taken.
     
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  10. TGR682

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    Yes, I meant that I am a man transitioning when I said "transgender man". Thank you for your reply on that.
    Yes, I do have to talk about this with my therapist in less than 2 days. The problem is, because I struggle with this pretty much on my own (except here, which I'm very thankful for!), I have difficulties being in touch with some friends I have because of the whole woman thing. It makes it difficult for me to talk to them. What do you suggest I do regarding my friends? My mother told me not to tell them a thing about this (at least for now), and since my mother is the voice of reason and wisdom in the house, a part of me has to agree with her.

    Thank you again for your reply! :slight_smile:
     
  11. QuietPeace

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    I think that it would be best for you to wait on talking to your friends about it. Until you are more sure about who you are inside and that you might actually transition you should keep it here and with the people who you have already spoken to about it. Many people are judgemental about people who transition and even more so about people who are uncertain or change their minds. Remember that no matter what this is a process that is going to take quite a bit of time and waiting a few days or weeks before telling people is not that long in relation to the whole thing.
     
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  12. TGR682

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    Yes you are right.
    I got to think a bit more about the idea of transitioning into a woman, and the idea warms my heart. That is what I felt just now.