I’m gay and I’ve always gotten vibes that a friend of mine who’s a guy likes me as he was always so sweet with his words towards me. He could be closeted or just simply a really nice guy. I have had crushes on guys before based on only looks, but I felt something different with this guy because I had never met a guy who wasn’t so judgemental when it came to how high my voice or how gay people said I was. Anytime we talked to one another while making eye contact, he’d always smile at me but I could tell he was trying not to smile. When we would text, it was usually him reaching to me first all the time (which I feel bad about because it may have made him think I wasn’t interested even though I was) just to talk about something he knows I like or something funny that had happened during the school day. When I told him I was gay, he was super supportive about it and would always defend me if anyone said anything rude to me about it. I noticed that he became nicer and more soft towards me after I told him I was gay (probably my mind playing tricks on me since I liked him and wanted him to like me). An example of this was when my birthday was near and I told him that I like to stay home on my birthday from school, and he told me how he really wanted to see me on my birthday and pretty much begged me to come to school that day...I think he said “pleaseee” like 3 times. Also, there was a particular time when we were texting and he told me that he had made the school soccer team...and when I told him “congratulations, plz go win our school team a game” he invited me to come to all of his games and said that he wanted me to cheer for him. (Some people I’ve talked to say this is flirting while others say that it’s just friendly). Later that year, unfortunately for me I told friends I thought I could trust about my crush on him and it ended up getting back to him. I felt so ashamed and that I had probably made him uncomfortable and weirded out by me which really messed my head up for the next few months. After it got out to him he had stopped texting me, which was a sign to me that he was actually straight this whole time and I was just being stupid. My friends and I would still catch him staring at me sometimes afterward, but about 2 months after him finding out he moved to a completely different state. After he moved, thats when he unfollowed me off of instagram and ended up waiting to block me completely on instagram a month after already unfollowing me. (of course this broke my heart) But I knew that I couldn’t be mad at him for blocking me. If I had made him uncomfortable then it was my fault and he had every right to do so, so I started my process of getting over him. After 2 months of having me blocked, I get a notification one day on Instagram that he was requesting to follow me again meaning he had unblocked me. I can’t say that I wasn’t happy seeing that...but it confused me. We ended up following one another again but he never actually messaged me or anything of the sort. Fast forward 8-9 months later when I was finally starting to really get over him, he DMs me on Instagram out of the blue asking me if I remembered him and how I had been. He ended up adding me on snapchat and asked me to start a streak which allowed us to talk to each other more and more again. One day though, I had posted a video of a friend (girl) and I in the bed together while I was at her house hanging out and he slid up on the story asking me “you get pu**y now?” Which confused me because I thought he knew I was gay as I told him myself AND 2 people had told him I had feelings for him a year prior. In my mind I was like “HOW DO YOU EVEN FORGET SOMETHING LIKE THAT” because my entire life people knew I gay before they had ever even spoken to me. So it made no sense to me how all of the sudden the ONE person I had extreme feelings for was the one who presumably “forgot” I was gay. When I told him I was gay again, he said “oh yeah lol” and then proceeded to ask me if I had a boyfriend. People I’ve talked to about this have said he really didn’t forget and he used it as a cover up to know my relationship status since he is likely closeted. They also said there was no way he could have forgotten that people had told him that I liked him prior to him moving away. When I said I was single he never made a move on me though, we’d just continue to text for days after. He would go on to eventually ask me if I had ever come out to my parents yet and asking me what they said about me coming out. (Not sure if he wanted to know because he’s closeted himself or just curious) (And also this may not mean much, but he follows half naked models on Instagram which leads me to thinking he’s straight again but this could just be something he does that he is never suspected as gay but idk). We are currently still friends and he recently said he missed me in a birthday text. Im sorry to those who actually took the time to read this, im just very confused and don’t know if he truly did have feelings for me or he simply was being friendly when he recontacted me. I’d appreciate your input and opinions, thank you!
Seems like he’s gay, bi or questioning and freaked out when he found out you liked him. That’s what it sounds like from what you’ve explained. The comments, “you like pussy now?” “Do you have a boyfriend?” Are you out to your parents yet?” Seems like he could possibly be. That’s just my take from reading what you’ve written. Lem
I don't think he is straight. The models etc could be a decoy, or he could be bi or just *somewhere* on the spectrum. Honestly, even if he does like you, I don't think it's something you should pursue now. Maybe sometime in the future, or if he changes his attitude. I understand that accepting your sexuality can be tough, that it can be scary to come out. But he seems immature about it, which would only cause issues and further sad feelings about it if you were to start something with him. Blocking people over dumb things and giving them the silent treatment gives off bad vibes. I'd wait until his attitude changes and/or until he's willing to say things more upfront
Yes, he might be questioning, which also makes it hard even if you wanted a relationship. I do think you could ask him some more personal questions like why did he block you (not very nice even for platonic friends). And if you really wanted to be direct, you could ask if he knew you had a crush on him. But as HM03 mentioned, he may be unsure himself what he wants, especially if he is in a homophobic environment (sports is one example).
Oh the damage closeted guys do to us... Most likely a closet case, most likely was probably interested in you, and most definitely following the half naked models as a cover up. But him probably being closeted and probably being interested is not enough. You can’t just fall for the guy, you have to fall for his circumstances as well (which right away takes closeted guys off the market). I’m not saying it’s impossible, I’m just thinking you would be much better served by moving on from him. It’s amazing what the no-contact rule does for curing a hopeless crush (as in, not even just not contacting him but not seeing photos of him and basically erasing all trace of him from your life). You should try it
