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I just dont know

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by jessie19, Sep 29, 2020.

  1. jessie19

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    Funny enough we were one of the first 5 countries to actually have it in our constitutional rights that you cant treat anyone regardless of gender differently, but the ability to enforce it has been an issue.

    Actually yes, the problem is that i had to buy a car, which has my budget messed up, and so i am now stuck living where im living.

    And lster that day i let her know i actually spoke to my closest male friend, and she asked how did he react, which is as follows, " thats great to here that you trust me, i wont tell anyone until you are ready, and dont worry you are still one of my best friends and this doesnt change anything", to which she replied in tears " I really am the worst if thats how he reacted to how i reacted"
     
  2. QuietPeace

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    From my own personal experiences and that of people who I have known. It is far easier for friends to be supportive than it is for family or romantic partners.
     
  3. Xey

    Xey
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    I may be incorrect, but isn't it illegal for a company to discriminate against your gender? If it was an issue I'm pretty confident you could sue.
     
  4. QuietPeace

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    In most places in the USA it is illegal to discriminate based on sex (birth assignment), in many that protection is not extended to gender identity and people who transition. Even in California where there are protections under law based on gender identity I was discriminated against several times.

    Also, even if there are protections and you are discriminated against that might mean you can sue but it does not guarantee that you would win.
     
    #24 QuietPeace, Oct 26, 2020
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2020
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  5. Xey

    Xey
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    Fair enough, despite progress we still live in a very bigoted world, it's just kinda depressing.
     
  6. jessie19

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    Exactly, we live in a word that [reaches to accept but fails to do so, and just leave many people on the side as outcasts
     
  7. jessie19

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    Well i had an interesting event this yesterday, since i came out to my fiance i had to back track and lie to her because she was freaking out and i was afraid she blabs to everyone, she now tells me yesterday, if you wanna be a girl its not like i am going to stop dating you, but it will make for an interesting family discussion at family gatherings

    LIKE WTH now she wants to be okay after ive had to lie and back track for months
     
  8. QuietPeace

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    Better late than never? Keep talking to her, if she really can come to accept you for who you really are then you can keep the relationship. I would be careful though and not commit to anything solid until I was sure the person really accepted. I have been burned more than once by someone who said it was ok and then after I committed they shoved me back into the closet.
     
  9. jessie19

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    Thats the thing, she burned me once, and now i dont want to talk to her about it, because i can live with an emotional rollercoaster because she cant decide if she is in or out, her view is that if i change then she want have the part she likes on me. but she is so closed off that she doesnt see that doing the bottom surgery in my country will be a minimum of a 15 year waiting list
     
  10. QuietPeace

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    What you will accept in your relationship is up to you of course but please consider, if she has to have you the way you are and you are going to pursue gender confirmation surgery no matter how long it takes, is she going to leave you then?

    If she does,
    Did she ever accept you for who you really are?
    Do you really want to stay in a relationship knowing that it is going to end that way?

    Are you hoping that she will eventually come to accept you for who you really are? It is impossible to predict the future, might it be better to just find someone who already accepts you for who you are now and who will stay with you as you are now and as you will be after GCS.
     
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  11. jessie19

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    Trust me when i say, i have been thinking of these long ago, for now i just need to make it through the silly season and decide, and start the new year my way. on a light note, messed around with makeup yesterday, and gotta say, i love it
     
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