Hey Everyone, So I recently joined this wonderful site hoping to find answers for my confused state. To give you a brief background, I grew up from a Catholic family, went to an all-girls school for a while and went to a university. I had several crushes on women when I was in high school and through university but never acted on it except once in high school (didn't go as planned because I chickened out). Now that I am an adult, I browse through online dating sites and is actually attracted to men initially but lately I'm more into women. Must be because I watch a lot of TV series featuring lesbian couples (latest was Bly Manor). Being a woman raised from a Catholic family, I was really having a hard time accepting myself that I may be into both because I was wired to think of marriage or romantic relationships between men and women only. So this new idea of women loving women is scary for me but is opening my mind to a whole new possibility. Any advice will be greatly appreciated and sending lots of love to everyone. ♥
Hi again, @Dilettante! I don't think the shows you watch are making you more into women per se, but perhaps they are awakening that side of yourself more; opening your eyes to the possibilities, should you find yourself with a woman in the future. I think the best thing to do is allow yourself time to work through this. There's really no rush to ascertain what label fits you, if any, and there's equally no rush to come out until you're ready to.
Hi @Dilettante! I'm actually in a similar situation as yours; grew up catholic in a fairly conservative family. When I look back on it now, I definitely had more girl crushes in high school and college than I had boy crushes and that has continued. I dated a guy in HS for about a month, maybe...it was fine but I wasn't totally into it. I've dated two girls now, one was about a 3 year relationship off and on and I'm still with my current girlfriend for the last year now. I find that I'm still physically attracted to men but have never had a good emotional/intellectual bond. I'm still questioning whether that's a possibly but I'm very happy in my relationship with my gf now and wouldn't risk losing that to find a guy to bond with. I still struggle with accepting it myself and sometimes think I will disappoint my parents. I totally understand your point about "feeling wired" to think a certain way about marriage. My brother is also gay so that plays into it as well. I would just say go for it and see how you could possibly feel with a woman. Go with that your heart feels. Yes, it might be hard for your family to accept it (my dad took it harder than my mom) but at the end of the day, hopefully they will love you for you and try to understand. Happy to talk
Hey @Camino05, thanks for answering. I got to open my messages just now being busy with work. I actually wanted to go out and try to meet people but the pandemic happened so I'm stuck at home. I didn't have long relationships actually. Never been into a committed one because I was so focused in studying and now work. I'm pretty sure I'm missing out on things here. Thanks also to @BiGemini87 for giving me insight. I may think that I'm looking forward to having relationships with women and go with the flow for now. I am planning to tell my sister that I may be into women because she actually had a relationship with a woman before but now is in a long-distance relationship with a man for a long time. I'm still pretty scared.
That’s the spirit! I’m also a little stuck at home because of the pandemic - but I actually managed to meet my first (ex-)girlfriend during the pandemic. It felt like my first love and was really amazing. Good luck with your journey!
