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Came out to HR

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by FindingMe7, Nov 28, 2020.

  1. FindingMe7

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    I work for a very large company and our Human Resource department for our office is located in a different state. I find our human resource person extremely attractive and we have worked together on and off over the last few years. Our work is mainly over the phone or by email and she comes to our station once in a while. I looked her up on social media and from what limited posting she had done she was very liberal.

    So I sent her an email asking if it would be ok to share something about myself that was extremely personal. She said I could share whatever I needed to share and to call her. So I gave her a call. Gave her a quick watered down version of how I didn't have any type of support with family or friends and that I needed someone else to know. I then went on to say "I'm gay". She seemed to take it fine and was supportive yet professional. She told me if I ever needed to talk again to call. Also I was kind of hoping that if I came out to her that maybe if she was into women she would tell me, but that didn't happen. So I have officially came out to 1 person.
     
  2. silverhalo

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    Hey congratulation that's great. I totally understand there is a part of you that was wishing she would return the coming out but perhaps she is straight or perhaps she felt is was unprofessional and just wanted to give you the opportunity to share your story. Its great that you have someone to call if you need to.
     
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  3. musicteach

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    I thinks it’s great that you have someone in a professional setting that you can talk to. But I would be extremely surprised if she returned the attraction/interest. Even if she was interested, it would be unprofessional and unorthodox for HR to get involved with an employee. Not only that, but it presents a clear conflict of interest and your employee handbook probably has something forbidding such things.

    It’s ok to talk to her, but keep it professional and leave your personal attraction out of it. That’s just my two cents.
     
  4. FindingMe7

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    Thank you. I probably will never call her because I don’t want to bother her or overstep my bounds with our work relationship. I’m just glad I at least told someone.
     
  5. FindingMe7

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    Totally get what you are saying. I realize its something that could never happen even if she was interested but it never hurts to fantasize about it. Haha!!
     
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  6. musicteach

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    Yeah fantasies are okay just take extra precaution to not let it bleed into real life. Be careful when you read her body language as well that you’re not tainting it.
     
  7. silverhalo

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    You should definitely be proud of yourself. Often telling the first person is the hardest.