1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Crossdressing, why does it obsess me ?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Mickeyfun, Nov 2, 2020.

  1. Mickeyfun

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2020
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Joliette
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    As the title says, i have this obsession about knowing how i would look like disguised as a woman, with the cute looking clothes and the make-up. I have never had the courage to get it further than just an idea in my head, like something stopping me from doing it.

    Still the idea persist in my head and i cant get it out. Like i am a man and i do not identify as anything other than man but the idea of doing this kind of turns me on. Not too sure why this is happening.

    Id like someday to try it out but i feel like i dont know where to start and i dont have people that could help me with this since my surrounding is pretty close-minded, I am also scared of the reactions i would get. This is something i would keep as my ''secret garden''.

    So basically, why does the obsession staus in my head ? and do you guys have tips on where to start ? I want to do it but im kinda scared of doing it too.

    Thanks.
     
  2. Phoenix92

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2013
    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    94
    Location:
    Albuquerque NM
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    If you don’t already have a name for Her(your female self) give Her one.
    Let Her “Come to visit” for the night.
    Let Her out, even if it’s for a short time.
    Yes, it’s scary.
    Yes, it’s a thrill.
    You have already visualised Her, so all you have to do is manifest Her into the real world
     
    #2 Phoenix92, Nov 7, 2020
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2020
  3. AlanaRi

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2020
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi,

    I completely understand being scared to try what you are thinking about. It's scary to not know how it may make you feel, especially if you don't have a safe environment to explore your identity in. It could be helpful to find a therapist to talk to, but often I think physically exploring these things is the most helpful, at least initially. Just remember, however it makes you feel, that is completely fine, and there are so many other people out here that feel the same way. Wether it's sexually exciting, or emotionally comforting, all these feelings are valid. Maybe start small with something most people won't notice? Try painting your toenails, or wearing unisex or women's underwear under your own, or just try some grooming habits that make you feel more feminine. It could help you know if you want to explore further. Which, you likely will:slight_smile:. Don't be afraid.
     
  4. JessNC

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2020
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    63
    Location:
    Greensboro, NC USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Mickey, the why question you are asking is one that many on EC have pondered in our lives. The beginnings of my journey in the gender identity and expression areas included purchasing and wearing women's under garments and lingerie. Why? And why did it feel like an obsession? Something I needed? Something I had to do? Wish I had easy answers but I don't. What I might add to this conversation is for you to allow yourself to trust yourself and honor the needs that are bubbling up for you. And to realize that your trepidation about how others might perceive you are valid concerns. The artificial gender binary that has shaped us is a culturally dominant one that makes stepping outside of or beyond it difficult or even unimagineable. The fact that you are challenging things--even if its only in your thinking and imagining--is a gift and a possibility not many receive. Obsession? No, a deepening awareness of growth meaning that you may choose to nurture.
     
    Albine, chicodeoro and AlanaRi like this.
  5. MisterMissy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2017
    Messages:
    220
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This post felt very familiar to me, and is part of the reason why I called myself MisterMissy when I joined Empty Closets.
    By no means is what I'm about to tell you meant to suggest this is the only reason you find yourself obsessed, nor is it meant to discourage you from exploring this part of yourself, but I thought I'd share in case you are experiencing something similar.

    When I was 14 years old, I went through a period of having longer hair. I told myself at the time that it was because I wanted to feel more artsy, like Leonardo Davinci and other Renaissance artists with their shoulder length locks. So for almost 3 years, I wore my hair long. And having my hair longer kinda awoke in me an interest to present more feminine, but really subtly. I wore turtlenecks all the time (black, navy, and white), skinny jeans with boot-cut cuffs, colored belts. But the bigger part was when I'd daydream, I started imagining myself crossdressing in gowns and makeup; lots of reds and hot pinks. This was also the period in my life when I had my worst acne and puberty was at an all time high. I was masturbating excessively. So I suppose I wanted to feel desirable, yet instead of wanting to feel manly, I wanted to feel feminine. And when I did that, it wasn't me wanting to feel feminine around other women, I actually imagined myself going on dates with other guys. Thing was, those crossdressing daydreams were the only time I ever imagined myself with other men. The rest of the time, it never crossed my mind.

    Years later, this interest DID morph into an obsession, I think I was 21, still in college. Hit me like a truck that I really REALLY want to dress in women's clothes. What should I try first? What will it cost me to get bras and panties and dresses and cute outfits that fit me well? What about false breasts? Where do I buy some good wigs? Are there places I could go in drag where I'd be welcomed? I even expressed this to my grandmother, mother, and best friend several months apart. They were stunned but accepting of my interest after a long talk.

    Thing was, several years later, not only did the interest in crossdressing wain, but my interest in other men went up. And there came a point where before, I only kinda sorta had an interest in men (I knew it was there and acknowledged it), but now, I was REALLY into men. Not just looks wise, but sexually.

    I attribute this all to my crossdressing fantasies having been a gateway to homosexuality, and the obsession I had when I was 21 was really my mind crying out wanting to accept my interest in men, but my brain saying that I had to become a crossdresser first before I could allow the homosexuality to come out properly. It was a pre-requisite.

    With all of that said, these days I am Pansexual, I pretty much have an attraction to all kinds of people. I'm now in a relationship with a trans-man for over a year. And while I still do have an interest in cosplaying in drag from time to time, it's no longer an urge gnawing at my backside like it had once been. It's more a fun activity than anything.