Weird living situation issue (please help)

I know that's not a very descriptive title but...I don't even know what to call it. I guess I'll try to explain. So, back in February my dad told me he got engaged to this woman after they'd literally only dated like 3 times. And now, on Friday, he tells me that she lost her job and is looking for a new one (okay) and she has a (thankfully virtual) interview for a job near here on Monday (uhh not okay, wtf).

He's also a person who doesn't clean much and is kind of a hoarder, and I can't help but be very suspicious now of his taking next week off to "clean" and "get stuff done around the house" apparently. He also claims he "doesn't know" if the job - assuming she gets it - will be virtual or not. He dropped the news in such a weird way too. He kind of took a roundabout way to get to it, and almost seemed like he was bragging or dropping a bomb or expecting some sort of reaction from me. It was extremely uncomfortable.

My mom had warned me earlier that day since he told her that morning, and I basically had to pretend to not know. I'm very thankful she warned me. Tbh, I don't know what would have been worse, not knowing and having to process that in front of him at dinner or me having to try to act normal knowing what was coming. Ugh.

I'm just sitting here like...how do I even process this. I basically don't even know these people, we're in the middle of a pandemic, I and others living here and in my life are trying to have our own lives and deal with school and work and shit, this is absolutely a horrible time. Idk if it'd ever really be a 'good' time for that bs but absolutely not now.

And I mean, what. Unless he magically takes all that hoarder shit and shoves it into a Tardis or something, where the fuck does he think they're gonna stay? Also, hell fucking no. He's not the only one living here!!! He basically seems to be indifferent to my concerns and I haven't voiced much more than my 'but what about school' (a valid concern - I'm already having a hard time focusing on it now because of this shit) but come ON. This is such a sudden, vague, weird thing out of basically nowhere. He told me at dinner on Friday and I was basically just trying to not choke on my food or totally freeze up.

Anyway, this is basically me explaining and saying PLEASE HELP. My mom and stepdad are preparing their house in case me and my doggo need to move in with them but anyway. What the hell do I do. My main concerns are 1) legal custody of doggo 2) how the hell does college work if I end up having to move out this year. Basically like...how do I deal with the financial aid, or maybe even switching to community college if I have to, I don't even know. We all think (and not just from this shit) that he's been kinda losing his marbles for a while but he denies it and refuses to get help. So...yeah.

There's a lot of moving parts and he just threw a giant fucking wrench into it. I'm flip flopping between being sort of calm and, much more often, feeling sick and just going WTF. I've never dealt with this kind of weird, awful situation before and while I have plans and ways of doing things, I'd really like some help. I mean, literally even talking about it to other people helps so thanks if anyone reads this.

 

Engaged after, as far as we all know, dating this woman only a few times for a very short period of time. None of us even know her. She seems okay afaik but this is too fast and not okay. Literally everyone thinks they're rushing it way too fast and thinking he's having a midlife crisis (which he may be tbh). I barely even know her or her kid, and being trans and unable to be out to certain people, this would basically just be more people I can't be myself around and would have to hide shit from, which would suck. And we don't really have room in the house, and it'd just be disruptive otherwise too - I really truly need my own space and quiet to be able to get stuff done.

That sounds even more unreasonable than him. Yikes. Now, things seem to maybe be going better now - my mom may have actually managed to talk some sense into him earlier. I'm 20 but I'm in college and don't have my own place yet - thankfully my mom and stepdad's house is an option if I need or decide to move out of here at some point in the next few years.

My main concern is just, if I ever leave, I need my dog to come with me, and my fish and plants too (I'd be worried he'd forget about them or neglect them). The issue there would be getting legal custody of my dog and getting him from Dad. Other concerns being, he shouldn't give such short notice if extra people none of us barely even know suddenly move in here permanently and start living here. I don't give a shit what they all do later on, but honestly, now is just not the time. We're in the middle of a pandemic, school is going on rn, and it's an overall crazy year. I'm like...literally just wait till I'm out of here or something, or at least give us all more time to adjust/move/etc before just going 'hey, so, these people you've literally never met will be moving in soon, have fun with that.'

Anyway thankfully it no longer seems to be an issue for now, or if it is, we may all work it out on our own. I honestly can't believe she managed to talk sense into him without it getting any uglier. I literally packed a bag when I woke up (to the sound of him angrily talking to her) just in case I needed it, because it did not sound good. Somewhere along the line, she got through to him and they made peace, it seems.