In a lot of ways I’m deeply closeted. I wouldn’t even be honest with myself most of the time. But the first time I fell for a woman, I was only 15 and then desire keeps coming up in my life. So when denying it to myself got too much, I would look at lesbian porn, then go back to denying it to myself again. But I cannot and do not want to live like this anymore. I love my husband and want to stay with him. Nor do I want a relationship outside of marriage. I know the only thing I can do, the only way to grow and be more healthy emotionally, is to be honest with myself. And I am out to my pastor and a few trusted friends. I know I will have to tell my husband soon too.
Beth D.....Hello and a very big welcome to Empty Closets! Sometimes our sexuality can be difficult to deal with! (understatement!) I'm not bisexual, but I can imagine that being Bi could be difficult at times. There are people that "slide" back and forth on the spectrum and if that slide occurs often I can see that it would be hard to handle. I'm far from an expert on bisexuality but if you do move back and forth on the spectrum between gay and straight it would obviously cause some intense confusion. I think that finding a therapist that lists bisexuality as one of their specialties would be a step in the right direction. Even a therapist that lists working with the LGBTQ+ Family as one of their areas of expertise would be good. Having another person's viewpoint, especially a therapist who works with our community would be a very big help. Please give that serious consideration. We're so glad that you have found us here on Empty Closets! Please keep us updated on how this all works out. ......David
I told my husband. He said although he’s never struggled with that, he’s been through enough shit and done enough shit, he’s okay that I feel that way. As long as I’m faithful, he’s going to stand by me. So that’s a big step for authenticity for me. Even though I’m bi, I do want to stay monogamous; I just don’t want to have to pretend I don’t have “those” feelings towards women anymore.
Glad to hear that, Beth. My spouse of 30 yrs has supportive of my being bi as well. Monogamy and maintaining passion and desire are things we are working on......
This is so good to hear. It's always a relief when your spouse is supportive. And it really is a big step! Because once you take it, it makes every step after a little easier, and brings you a little closer to being a complete version of yourself. So big time kudos.
