What are you thinking?

Drugs ruined my life and took away everything I held dear.

 

Carole Baskin came out as bisexual.

 

I should thank him for all the pain and grief he caused.
While it sounds crazy, it helped shape who I am now.
I like me now.
I'm a better person.
He is too.

Now that we talk again, most days, it's kinda weird.
It feels like nothing's changed.
Even though we're totally different people.
In good ways.
But we get along okay still.
We both have different humor.
We both have new interests. (But he's still a hell of a gamer!)

I'm a girl! Neither of us even knew that was a possibility then!

...This all happened at the perfect time...
We just moved across the country, again...
I was still lonely...

And now?
This is the best I've felt in years!

But I still have stuff to do.
And the future still looms above...

...It's scary.
Two years ago was a turning point in my life.

Now, it's happening again.
In a good way.

 

I haven't had a flashback for a long time or nightmares about a particular traumatic event. Somehow I just know that I'm at peace now. Is it weird to celebrate that? Because I'm celebrating. I just feel so...weirdly whole. As if I've been building up a reason my whole life to justify my existence and now I'm just me and that's all I need. It's like I've been preparing for a war mentally but there is no longer a fight.

Admittedly I'm crying a little but it's the good kind.

 

Is a year on Titan one orbit around Saturn, or one of Saturn's orbits around the Sun?!

 

@Hypernova To the best of my knowledge, a year on titan is one revolution (one spin) around Saturn. One revolution of Saturn around the sun, would be a year on Saturn (not on Titan)

 

Okay, interesting!

 

Why pay money to get a massage when you can just have a friend sit on your back? The result is the same

 

Absolutely. I have nightmares every night and traumatic flashbacks on a daily basis and it’s painful beyond words, especially without a partner and when isolated without much of a support system.

When I get to a point like yours, which seems distant at best, it would certainly be something to celebrate or at least greatly appreciate.

I can relate to your sense of “preparing for a war” in your mind. For me, it’s like walking alone on a cold, dark road seeing a distant light at the end which takes an indeterminate amount of time to reach. I have to stay strong and keep walking for my own sake but it’s a dark, cold, lonely experience getting to that light.

 

I could use a best friend in this world right now.

 

I'm happy, for once. Calm.

 

A sober life free of all substances is the only life for me. If only I came to that realization sooner.

 

If Trump is re-elected, my community and several others are going to be in even more danger.

At least it would be less bad with Biden....

 

My fidget spinner is losing its spin... do I fidget that much?

 

I fantasise WAY too much for it to be healthy.

 

2 months sober from all substances including all prescriptions and "medicinal" marijuana. It's clear that I was using those things as a crutch and they gradually ruined my life, almost to the point of no recovery.

My mind hasn't felt this clear in about 3 years, because that's when I first smoked weed and got on prescription drugs. It's night and day and my sense of "true self" has been regained. Even I thought I lost it and truthfully I was very close.

Never looking back. I just wish I never started.

 

I've been through so much unbelievable pain over the recent past, but I feel that in the end it will make me stronger. Have to take the valuable lessons from the failure and use them to built a better future instead of letting them destroy or define me.

 

I hope the military provides me with the structure, life skills, financial stability, and sense of community that I very much need at this time. Not to mention I'll be able to complete my education as well. There aren't many other alternatives that I see for myself, but I'm hoping it'll be the new beginning I need for a better future.

 

This is the perfect game to just zone out and think.
Just doing some nice, chill cleaning.

 

My neighbor is baking bread and asked me if i wanna come over to have some. My brain says no but my tummy says yes...

Even though i wanna go to sleep early tonight, but a social meeting with bread wouldnt hurt..................