I'm a biological female and have never felt very uncomfortable with my pronouns. However, I've always felt uncomfortable being a girl and have a always thought about that if I was originally born a boy, I would feel a lot more comfortable and happy with myself. I always feel extremely uncomfortable whenever I wear feminine clothing, and have often worn sports bras to make my boobs look smaller because I hate how they look on me. Despite this I feel that changing my pronouns to he/him or they/them would not make me feel any better, and if I actually transitioned I would feel even more uncomfortable with myself. So right now I'm in this weird limbo of not knowing who I am or how to present myself. Im very new to anything involving gender identity which only adds to my confusion unfortunately. Sorry if this was a long and incoherent mess
I'm super new to all this myself but I've hated being forced to be feminine my entire life to the point of weekly tears. I went to a private school with uniforms for NINE years and it was pure hell. I wore shorts underneath every day. I was also forced to go to church in a dress every Sunday and I'd wear shorts there, too. I have never liked anything girly. One of the happiest moments of my childhood was when I was at a restaurant with my family and held the door for an old man and he said, "what a polite young gentleman!". That really stuck with me all these years. My heart skipped a beat. I was like, hell yeah, I'm a polite young gentleman! But puberty hit and I've been "blessed" with the perfect female form. Big boobs, little waist, big ass and hips. I will never be able to pass on a million years without medical intervention. So now I'm trying to find out if I'm non binary or if I'm completely trans. I has buried these feelings for decades but turning 30 really made me want to live my best, authentic life. Food years I tried to look and feel attractive as a female, got the same of my mental health and body positivity. And being able to feel attractive and feminine sometimes it's what planted the seed of doubt in me. But then I remember that incident as a kid and I just can't stand to "wonder" anymore. But to get back to the topic at hand, it was never "pronouns" that made me hurt. It was looking in the mirror and seeing the wrong person there. At this point the pronouns don't matter to me personally. Others may disagree but I look in the mirror and I still see a female and I don't expect anyone else to look at me and get the pronouns in my heart correct. Until I know for sure, I'm going to test pronouns in safe spaces like this, and with a few trans and non binary friends who are helping me along.
Take your time. Go ahead and experiment with pronouns and names, see if it helps. You will never be sure if you do not try.
Pronouns are a way to present yourself as one gender or another. It’s not that people transition for pronouns, they so it for feeling right in who they are in more general terms. Dang, some “trans criteria” that you have to be a super obvious and confident trans person who knew and understood everything since childhood hanging out there are doing a real disservice to people... To me, being called a he means being acknowledged and seen as a guy, and this is why I like it, not for the sound of it or because I can’t take being misgendered. There should be a reason added to to all those “trans criteria”. Same goes with clothing , I have nothing agianst dresses, but I want to be seen as a man, and men don’t wear dresses, it makes me feel more congruent, understood, to be seen as a guy, it makes me happy with who I am, I actually enjoy being treated as a dude, while being a woman is just... uninteresting and annoying and even very uncomfortable at times.
