1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How much masturbation is 'normal'?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by HedaGR, Oct 6, 2020.

  1. HedaGR

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2016
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Thessaloniki, Greece
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I'm a female 27 years old. I recentely realised i like women and i'm currently in a relationship with a man. I'm still waiting until i feel ready to come out and break up with him. I masturbate to lesbian porn every day, like 10 times a day... i can't help it and i don't seem to care if my boyfriend is in the house, i just can't help it. Sometimes it's almost painful because i do it too much. It's been few months that i do this. Do you think this is unhealthy?
     
  2. QuietPeace

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2020
    Messages:
    1,706
    Likes Received:
    1,154
    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yes, the problem is not that you or anyone masturbates. The problem here is doing something so much that it hurts, that is too much. Also, that you are so driven that you do not seem to care if you get caught, and the implication that I am reading is that you think he would be upset if he caught you. Maybe cut down some? Seek out therapy?
     
  3. HedaGR

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2016
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Thessaloniki, Greece
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    We both know that the other can masturbate because we've talked about it and we both consider it ok at times. I believe all people need that even if they are in a healthy relationship. I know mine is not healthy but i'm not sure he would be mad if he caught me doing it. I think it would be awkward. What i mean is that i prefer it than actually having sex with him. So even though i know i can go for some actual human contact i prefer masturbating. I've been struggling with my sexual orientation and i know i prefer women. Sex with men doesn't really annoy me but it's not like i crave for it. I feel like i wanna have sex with a woman so much that i just end up masturbating way too much
     
  4. Jlan3825

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2020
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    OK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I know what you mean, I can have straight sex, but just masturbate to bi porn because i want to have sex with a guy. Glad i am not the only one. Thanks for posting, its great knowing i am in good company. We may even know deep down that we want to get caught so they know we are not happy with our current sex life, not because of lack there of, they are just not the sex type we are craving. Bi life problems, gotta love em lol.
     
  5. QuietPeace

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2020
    Messages:
    1,706
    Likes Received:
    1,154
    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I am pretty sure that this would upset him.

    I understand the rest. I also prefer women, though I currently have a boyfriend.

    You are wrong about everyone needing it, I do not and though I may be unique in that (though I doubt it) the fact that I don't means that not everyone does.
     
  6. HedaGR

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2016
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Thessaloniki, Greece
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    i think everything is accepted when 2 people agree on it, as long as it stays within some specific limits. My problem is that this is out of these limits. I feel that this happens because i'm not into men but it's i wanna see if i'm the only one doing it that much.
     
  7. HedaGR

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2016
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Thessaloniki, Greece
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I think you just exposed me so hard... i feel like this is what i'm feeling but i'm in denial
     
  8. Jlan3825

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2020
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    OK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    If you tell him you feel that you are bi and that you want to explore that side of you, he may even be supportive of it. Id give him a chance to be supportive first. Keeping in mind that i never meant the, but he could say go ahead and try it or suggest bringing a third into the bedroom. If he is a jerk about it, by all means break up, or if he is supportive and you have your woman to woman romance and you still dont want to be with him, then by all means breakup with him. One suggestion is that can say you came across a sexual orientation quiz on a social media site and according to it you may be bi. Im sure you can find several online and maybe you can have him take it as well. Maybe he is bi too, you never know. Perhaps one of these days i will take my own advice.
     
  9. HedaGR

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2016
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Thessaloniki, Greece
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    it's really hard to break because we've been together for 7 years.. it's a long time and i don't wanna rush it
     
  10. SilentM

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2020
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    61
    Location:
    Poland
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You can do it as much as you like and as much as you need unless:
    - your body parts become sore or irritated (you can decrease the probability by using lubricates)
    - this impacts other areas of your life (work, eat, sleep, socialize)

    You can decrease your sex drive by laying off porn.
    Regardless of gender no sex partner can beat an open minded person who knows her/his body well.
    It's OK to touch yourself and indulge in sexual fantasy while having sex with your current partner if you want better sex.
    It's OK not to have sex with your partner if you don't feel like it.
     
  11. HedaGR

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2016
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Thessaloniki, Greece
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It does affect my life somehow.. i have a lot to study for my MA and i quit my studying to do this. I didn't think this is that important, but i understand it could get worse and affect other parts of my life too
     
  12. SilentM

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2020
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    61
    Location:
    Poland
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    If you feel that you are losing control over your sex drive you should seek help from a specialist.
     
  13. Mihael

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2015
    Messages:
    3,049
    Likes Received:
    704
    Location:
    Europe
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Personally, I see nothing wrong or abnormal even in masturbating all day if you are enthusiastic about whatever makes you feel this way. You (OP) say that you just discovered what turns you on. The excitement will wear out and you’ll go back to focusing on something else in some time.

    There is nothing wrong with you, a lot of people have insane sex drives, me included, and this is natural, evolution had reasons to motivate animals to having sex as much as it possibly could. Just like to any other survival related thing. Nothing wrong with that, remember. It’s just some people have a fear response to sex, because it’s physical and all that jazz. Some couples have sex a few times a day, it’s normal.
     
  14. Old Dog

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2020
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Utah
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I am still in a hetero relationship,,, Mr Lawyer told me,,, wait it out or you will be in serious financial situation......

    But I cannot have sex with her,,, so about every 10 days I do the alone thing.
    I have the basement to my self.