1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Do you think my friend is curious or bi?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by BreezyB, Nov 5, 2017.

  1. BreezyB

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2014
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    St.Louis
    Well this is a a long story (Just a warning for any who dont want to read)

    So, we met when he was 11 and I was 13 I walked into my other friend's basement and I just noticedbhim staring at me a little, but honestly I just thought it was because not very many black people were in the area I was.

    About 3 years ago we started to hang out more; this was when his brother went to juvenile (I posted about his brother a few years ago)
    Almost every time we have and still do sleep in the same bed (even though most tikes thereb is no good reason to) and sometimes he even participates in very mild mid day cuddling.
    Over the years we've grown very close. We know each other like books, and there have been a few events that made me really question what his orientation is.

    So, to start when we first started hanging out (years ago) he was more touchy feely. We would wake uo in the morning and just talk and he woukd just rest his legs on me. But there was one day(about two years ago) where he had his foot on the back of my neck, and ge pulled me in close, Our noses were touching, and held me with there with his hands for like 5 seconds (felt like an eternity) then he just let me go and said "you were gonna kiss me faggot"

    Soon after that our friendship became on and off.
    Recently (for the last like 8 months) I've been staying at his house for most nights.
    About two weeks ago he found out I was gay because we went out with a few of his friends (one included an openly gay guy) and I got really drunk and windup making out with the guy and he caught us. He didnt seem to mind at all ( he actually encouraged me) and later when I literally had to come out just said he didnt judge people (wish I had known that 6 years earlier) and he doesn't treat me any different whatsoever. We even still sleep in the same bed when I stay over (im actually writing this laying next to him)

    So what do you think?
    I can give more details a lot was left out.
     
  2. BreezyB

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2014
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    St.Louis
    I realize that no one replied to this thread, but I still want to add to it. Ig I hope in some way it will provide some type of closure for me.

    To start when I wrote this post I was drunk. I had (have) a drinking problem, but the guy who this post is about accepted that(in some ways encouraged it). He accepted all my flaws despite how numerous they are. After he found out I was gay he treated me no differently, and I behaved no different. I would even still flirt with girls, although I didn't date or hook up with any.

    One night we get really upset with each other. He was mad at me for going to the river with a girl he liked(I think he actually thought I liked her), and on the same night a cop came to his house and accused us of being drug dealers(which we were). After the cop left I cut down his pot plant(i was honestly trying to help him). He outed me to the girl, ig he did the one thing he could think of that would hurt me. The same night he forgave me, but I held a grudge.

    Over the next following months my drinking worsened, and we saw each other only sporadically. The few times we did see each other were awkward, tension was evident. One night something terrible happened and I wound up in the hospital. His house was one of my first stops after discharge, I spent the night there and he helped me throughout the night.

    6 months later i was arrested and did 19 months in jail, I just got out about 5 days ago. About 3 months after I was locked up I was informed that he passed away.

    Being in jail it was easier to deal with, because i was in denial. In there it was easy not to have to face the fact that I would never see him again. But out here it hurts, floating around filled with regret and sorrow. I wish I would have readily forgave him the same as he did for me.

    I know what this thread was originally asking, but now I dont care what the answer is. Regardless of it I loved him more than anyone on this earth, and would give anything to have him back. It's impossible to see myself going on without him, I truly dont want to.
     
  3. quebec

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2014
    Messages:
    4,201
    Likes Received:
    2,364
    Location:
    U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    BreezyB.....I am so sorry for all of the terrible things that you have gone through. Whether they were your fault or not, I am still sorry that all of this has happened. Please consider getting in touch with a therapist. Sometimes we face things in our life that are just beyond our ability to cope with ourselves. Having another person to talk to can make a huge difference. There is probably a local LGBTQ+ Center in your area and they may have a therapist who works with LGBTQ+ Folks for a reduced or even no fee at all. Remember that you are a part of our LGBTQ+ Family and we do care. We're so glad that you have found us here on Empty Closets!
    .....Dvaid :gay_pride_flag: