1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Is it bad to come out to people in a message?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by dirtyshirt84, May 9, 2020.

  1. don72tx

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2020
    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    Lubbock,Tx
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    The first two people that i came out to were in messages and it worked out fine. There is that fear when you first send it that you might not get a positive reaction, but I think if you know them well enough you can be kind of sure what their response will be. With the first person I came out too, our friendship had grown and deepened even more. I had this huge urge to come out to others now, but I will still be careful about whom I let know of my sexuality.
     
    dirtyshirt84 likes this.
  2. don72tx

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2020
    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    Lubbock,Tx
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Oops, didn't realize i had already posted on this yesterday...my ad
     
    #22 don72tx, Jul 22, 2020
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2020
  3. chicodeoro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2020
    Messages:
    855
    Likes Received:
    956
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    My friend replied! She had just been busy and have wanted to take her time with her reply.

    And she was fine. She accepts me and we've got our friendship back on track.

    I'm very relieved!
    Beth
     
  4. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,698
    Likes Received:
    3,723
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yay, waiting is awful because it always makes you think the worst. That is great news.
     
  5. chicodeoro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2020
    Messages:
    855
    Likes Received:
    956
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Thanks, Silverhalo. Everyone I've come out to - so far, at least - has been really positive. I know, though, that I've got some tough hurdles ahead...
     
  6. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    4,300
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That’s great. I’m pleased to hear that she replied. :slight_smile:
     
  7. Shadows123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2013
    Messages:
    88
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Due to most of my close friends not living around me I have pretty much only came out to them via Snapchat and iMessage. Ultimately it is YOUR choice as to how you come out. There is no right or wrong way to come out so long as it is on your terms.
     
    dirtyshirt84 likes this.
  8. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,882
    Likes Received:
    3,217
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Great that your friend responded and that she is accepting. It took a lot of courage and am glad that it worked out so well.
     
  9. chicodeoro

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2020
    Messages:
    855
    Likes Received:
    956
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Thanks! Hopefully we're going to meet up next month and I'll have a chance to explain to her in person about what's been happening with me.
     
  10. dirtyshirt84

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2015
    Messages:
    485
    Likes Received:
    271
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Update for anyone that’s interested! So I did come out to her, a few months ago now :slight_smile:

    I think doing it by text definetly saved any awkwardness but the downside was that I didn’t get to see her immediate reaction. I knew she would be cool with it (she’s gay too).

    She was away for a bit after I told her so I didn’t get to see her in person for a while afterwards. But I’m so glad I told her, I think it has made us closer now she knows we have this in common. It has reminded me that there is a lot of power in owning your truth. I think each time I come out to someone it also gets slightly easier.
     
    Tartanskrt, chicodeoro and BiGemini87 like this.
  11. BiGemini87

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2019
    Messages:
    1,485
    Likes Received:
    1,318
    Location:
    Pembroke, ON
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That's great to hear! It does seem to get easier with time I've noticed, too.

    May all future outs be as pleasant. :slight_smile:
     
    dirtyshirt84 likes this.
  12. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    4,300
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Congratulations, @dirtyshirt84. Great to hear that it went well. :slight_smile:
     
    dirtyshirt84 likes this.
  13. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,882
    Likes Received:
    3,217
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Congraulations! Wonderful that it went so well and that the relationship has become closer. It gets easier. :slight_smile:
     
  14. Ram90

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    394
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    @dirtyshirt84 Congratulations! I'm glad you have a supportive friend in them. :slight_smile:.
     
  15. Tartanskrt

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2019
    Messages:
    91
    Likes Received:
    62
    Location:
    Uk
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm so glad this worked out so well for you. There is so much power in loving your truth, even it takes a long time to get there