gay to straight

This was a difficult post to write. I am trying very hard to look at both sides of a very emotionally-loaded question. I find that I can become so focused on the problems that we as members of the LGBTQ+ Family face that I can ignore the fact the our "heterosexual cousins" don't always have an easy time too. I was a junior/high school teacher for 40+ years and saw what those early teens went through when it came to dating, dances, and "first-love". It wasn't easy for any of them, although as I stated in my post, it is obviously more difficult for LGBTQ+ kids. The original question doesn't specify teenagers, but that was a group that I spent a lot of time around. Now, after retiring, I have kept in touch with many of my former students. Amongst those "kids" I have a number that have come out. Looking back at what they went through during those teenage years confirms in my mind that LGBTQ+ kids had a tougher time (makes sense) than their hetero peers. But it is also obvious that the hetero kids didn't have all that easy of a time either! I welcome your reactions to this post...but please be kind...I was trying to make sense out of a difficult topic.


Leynz45.....A person's sexuality, while it is a very important part of who we are is by no means our complete personality. We talk a lot about finding the true "you/me" here on Empty Closets. That results in a large part of the discussions here becoming centered around The LGBTQ+ Family and how we fit into it. However, the vast majority of people around us are not in the LGBTQ+ Spectrum. It's easy for us to forget that straight folks can go through some of the same "Type" of emotional upheavals that those of us who are queer go through. Please don't shoot me down yet!!! Obviously what LGBTQ+ Folks have to deal with are more difficult as we are a minority fighting for the right to be treated like the majority. But on an individual basis, the emotional upheaval that a gay guy can go through as he comes out can be mirrored to a degree by a straight guy. Growing into your sexuality/ discovering your sexuality around the age of say 13 or so can be difficult for anyone, gay or straight. My personal opinion and my experience lead me to believe that it is much more difficult for a gay guy that a straight guy, but that doesn't mean that it's easy for the straight guy. It's a time of emotional and physical upheaval and it can be difficult for anyone. Back to the original question. I'm assuming a few things that aren't stated in that question...If you had felt for some time that you were gay and then found yourself attracted to an opposite-sex individual, perhaps you were more on the Bi-sexual spectrum than you previously thought. It's not a reason for the world to come to an end! It's become rather obvious to us that our sexuality is not necessarily cast in stone. There is flexibility in the sexuality of many people. I hope this has helped shed some light on the question. We spend a lot of time examining and trying to understand our sexuality, but we should remember that heterosexual folks also go through emotional and physical upheavals when all those hormones kick in as a teenager!
.....David

 

The issue isn't so much porn as the underlying anxiety/OCD and how it interacts with how you use porn. Anyone who uses porn a lot is going to find it numbing, which is what causes people to progress to more and more extreme porn.

The best option here may be to just give porn up completely. It will make masturbation frustrating for probably a couple of weeks, but eventually, your brain will reset itself and you'll find it easier to simply use fantasy.

As to the original question: A gay person is not going to "suddenly find him or herself attracted to a straight person." ... it doesn't work that way. I suspect you are again having your logic confused by the impact of the OCD on the way your brain processes information.