I'm desperately trying my luck here, i really need someone to talk to about these things. I have tried similiar websites to this one based in my own country, but every reply i get is some sleazy dude who just wants an easy fuck and doesnt really care.. I also tried ###### a few times and it mostly was the same situation there, except i matched and chatted with 2 guys i felt comfortable with, but they wanted to meet and i ultimately chickened out and deleted the app... As you probably understand im very insecure about this and im looking for someone who understands to have a conversation with, preferably private but any replies to this post is appreciated! So here is my situation; I have been bicurious since around the age of 13. I know i like women, no doubt about that as i get very aroused by them. About 2 years ago i finally confirmed im also attracted to men. I have a girlfriend who i love very much. We have been on and off for the past 4 years (more on than off) but the last time we broke up i finally tried having a sexual encounter with a man... and i loved it! We have met 3 times, but we never got to complete the act as i was very drunk each time. What i mean by this is we snuggled, kissed, gave each other oral and showered together and he shaved me. It was very intimate and enjoyable, and we tried anal, one of the times it hurt but the other two felt really good, but i never got to orgasm because we spent so much time on the foreplay and it was very late (since i showed up in the Middle of the night drunk) so he couldnt keep it up. He admitted the first time he only gave me a "taste" so i would want to come back... and it worked! But the other times was the same situation except he couldnt keep it up (due to me waking him up in the Middle of the night and requiring hours of foreplay) even tho i was very close to climax. I think i could talk to this guy about these thoughts, but i havent dared to back to him in fear that i might have sex and cheat on my girlfriend because im obviously very attracted to him. Wow, this ^ was way more detailed than i planned but im posting it anyway, maybe it helps you understand better idk... Point is i feel i never got the full experience, it was some of the best sex of my life and i regularly fantasize about doing it "right. But i got back together with said girlfriend and now, a year later she is pregnant... Which is great! Im looking so much forward to beeing a father (but that is something for another post). Now, i dont want to cheat, i have never been a cheater but im almost haunted by flashbacks and fantasies about my guy-on-guy experience and about how i never got to properly finish it. I just feel i need to talk to someone who understands and maybe has some similiar experiences about how im gonna handle this going forward. Wow this turned into a really long post! Thanks for reading if you got this far, I'll make a short version under. Any way it felt really good to get this off my chest once and for all! SHORT VERS: I fantasize and dream about going back to my one gay experience but dont want to cheat on my girlfriend and need some help dealing with it all
Hi, In a way, it sounds like you already have your answer. You seem to really enjoy and be excited by the experiences you've had, and want more of them. The challenge is that you are currently in a relationship. So it really isn't fair or ethical to continue hooking up with guys while you are in a relationship (for a bunch of reasons, not the least of which is safety and health.) So if that's the case, it leaves either having a conversation with your girlfriend about what's going on for you, or just breaking up with her. Do you have a sense as to which one of these options is the one that feels right to you?
I'd talk with your girlfriend before breaking up! Perhaps you can work it out together. If you're bisexual it's possible if your girlfriend is the open-minded type.
Are you using a hold as a crutch to be with a man . You describe yourself as drunk each time. No wonder no climax. Before talking with your girlfriend take a good look in the mirror and see feel and think can I be with a man when sober. Then have a talk with her . Is your friend gay or bi? Being pregnant she most likely dump you so be prepared to hear that. Maybe say your a little curious and see if she would like a 3 some and get your friend involved.
Hi and thanks, i dont wanna break up, and dont want to have the conversation. So yes i actually already have the answer; i just have to let it go. It just feels bad that i might never get another chance to epxerience this again
Well... that's the easy answer. And it might be the right answer for you. But before you settle on that answer, reread this line, from your original post: That isn't going to go away. So before you decide to just shut down a part of self that may, in fact, be your true self... you might want to take some time and read some posts in our "Later in Life" section, which is filled with people who, in their late teens or twenties, knew they had attraction to the same sex, but ignored it, because it was uncomfortable, got married... and 20 years later are miserable, having to get messy divorces, and start life over, unhappy that they spent 20 years in a loveless marriage. I'm not saying break up, and I'm not saying cheat. I'm simply suggesting that you really think this through. You joined EC and wrote the above post for a reason, and I don't think it was just to convince yourself that you're straight and everything is peachy keen.
