Flirting tips

From my experience, it unfortunately depends on the person you're trying to flirt with. What one person may appreciate, another may not.

I think one of the things people tend to overlook when it comes to flirting with someone is that it can be a little less about what's said, and more about what you do. Body language, eye contact, distance apart from the other person, these are all important factors too.

Think about what kind of behaviour you'd appreciate from another person trying to flirt/court you. Would you like them to be the kind of person that stands there with their arms folded, refusing to make eye contact, or maybe even stare a little too much, all whilst your body faces sideways away from them? Would you prefer someone whose posture is open and welcoming (by this I mean arms by sides, or just holding a drink), they make good eye contact with occasional breaks to look at another part of you, smiles frequently at the things you say, and faces you (which comes across more engaging)?

These sorts of things are important. If your body language is off, and you look too desperate or uninterested, people will pick up on that.

After this, think about what you may want to say once you know what kind of body language etc you're going for with that person. Go with the flow of the conversation, don't force a conversation when a person clearly may not be interested (which brings me back to body language and looks of disinterest). Don't be afraid for momentary pauses in a conversation. You don't have to turn into a motor mouth and just keep going on and on. Would you appreciate a person that just talks and talks and you can't get much of a word in edge-ways? Just keep it light. Ask general things. If you ask their profession and they say they're a lumberjack, make a light joke about their ability to cut down trees, or do heavy lifting. Smile with the joke, make light eye contact.

Use their body language to guide you.

Ultimately, flirting is extremely subjective. It's a learned behaviour and we all have our own way of what flirting is to us. What my version of flirting is, may not be to another. I'm sure others here will come up with their own version of how they flirt with someone. Over time, you'll develop your own way of doing it too.

 

I've wondered about this too, apparently I give off flirtatious vibes without intending to. Admittedly, I've never clicked with someone enough that flirting comes naturally. I've never really flirted in my life. This is why I tend to not have the best time with dating apps, because I don't want to come across as creepy but I don't want to seem disinterested either. What usually ends up happening is a halfhearted conversation about future ambitions and then the conversation dies.

My body language tends to be somewhat closed off, but when I start to relax around someone then it tends to be more open and this is noticeable to others and can be misinterpreted as interest. I'm fairly decent at giving advice to my friends about relationships (despite never experiencing one myself) but have no idea what to suggest when asked about how to approach someone.

I've been told that I should put myself out there more but whenever I do it feels disingenuous. As though I'm going through a checklist without any actual engagement in what I'm doing. I can come across as chill, but I actually have a difficult time relaxing in places such as bars and clubs. Earlier in the year, I met up with a few friends and a friend of theirs went along with us. She told me that I seemed really nice and reminded her of a younger version of herself, despite being younger than me. However, she added that I didn't seem like the clubbing type and brought up that there were other places I could meet people. So I've been told, but I would still like to be less neurotic and fit in. I'm so used to be thought of as the responsible, mature one but I'd just like to be thought of as one of the group for once. I think in a way I am, but I find that difficult to accept yet I want that position so I just ugh. Yes, I know this may come across as self-pitying. I'm afraid I can't give you any flirting advice, but we're in a similar boat.

 

I've often been told that I'm very flirtatious yet I do next to nothing to flirt. I think the key is to really listen to what people are saying and doing, and not just to figure out what you should say or do. Most people encounter very little genuine engagement in their day to day lives and people eat it up with a spoon.

 

From my perspective, this is CRITICAL!!! Listening, in combination with eye contact, a smile, while relaxing and being yourself. Say less, listen more.

 

My fiancé says I flirt like a cheap hooker looking for a good time but I don’t even realize it. But... then again... I’m confident in who I am. I wouldn’t say I’m conventionally handsome — I mean I’m not ripped but have a lean body. I don’t have six pack abs unless I draw them on. Messy red hair, hazel eyes. And most of the time in social situations my anxiety is acting up. But I act like I’m the bomb.com (cuz I am). I’m confident in my sexuality, and I’m confident if I seriously wanted a guy I could have him — even if it is a load of bull. So Iunno I just flirt, I guess? But if I actually try my words get twisted and tangled.

 

When in doubt, just smile, smile, SMILE!

lol or at least that’s what my mom taught me.

To be frank I don’t know either, so I guess none of us are alone.

I wish you luck. Hopefully I can learn to.

 

It's mostly in the eyes, posture, and proximity. Smiles help too obviously.

Eyes: most people aren't conscious of how their eyes look to others. The ability to control your eyes is a massive advantage. You can send flirtatious signals just by looking a particular direction, at a certain angle, or holding someone's gaze for exactly the correct amount of time before breaking off to look at something specific. For example holding their eye contact for a couple seconds, half-smile to tell them yes you really are looking at them and not someone else, then break eye contact and look at a drink or empty chair nearby to tell them "look, I'm alone, come over and sit with me or drink with me"

Posture: another subconscious thing people don't often know to control. Make sure you're never leaning back or away from the person, since it says that you're not interested. Lean slightly towards them or at a tilt to show that you're interested in being closer to them.

Proximity: Don't stand or sit at a normal distance from them, that says you see them as a normal person and it's a normal interaction. Getting right on the edge of their personal space without invading it is better, since you're much closer, can see details on each other's faces more clearly, they'll catch your eye flirting more easily, you can casually touch them like brushing their hand etc.

The words just have to flow naturally and seem clever or funny, since making someone laugh always makes them more interested.

 

Mmm but baby a big man knows what he wants and just knows he’s gonna get it? That’s sexy af. Fake it till you make it.

 

The other person show those sign when being romantic interesting:
1- Makes exuses to touch you, ex. "You have something on your shirt/ pants" and remove if for you.
2- Touches their own hair or headwear alot because you make them nervous or prepare themself for flirting with you.
3- They touch their own face or neck because they wish you where touching those places.
I just wrote sign that are harder to miss.

There are alot of videos on Youtube, have you thought of go looking them up before?