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How to support mentally ill partner?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Alex916, Aug 25, 2020.

  1. Alex916

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    My gf of two years has been having a lot of mental illness issues lately (understandable considering the world) and lately it’s been hurting our relationship. that.

    She has such a low self esteem, she sees herself as unlovable. She apologizes for everything (for talking, for eating, for having interests, for having a broken toe right now) and always tries to take the blame for anything gone wrong. She refuses to believe she’s talented (which she is!), and she’s so hopeless about the future. She talks about wanting to die a lot. Shes had a really hard life but doesn’t even think she’s had it bad? She grew up with an abusive step father and then her mom dated a cop that ended up stalking her family for years and then tried to kill them all—she’s been through some rough stuff, that’s not even the worst of it. I don’t know how to help.

    Anyone have any advice? Therapy is financially unavailable so we’ve been looking for online self help, therapy worksheets, articles, PDFs, anything that might help. I’m so desperate to know how to help.
     
  2. LostInDaydreams

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    Hi @Alex916,

    I’m sorry that you’re in this situation. It must be really hard for both of you and your girlfriend has clearly had some horrific experiences, so it’s understandable that she is struggling.

    I don’t have any advice, but wondered whether you had looked for national or local mental health charities? They might be able to offer your girlfriend some support or have guidance on how you could support your girlfriend. In the UK there is a charity called Mind and they have guidance on how to help family and friends here. Perhaps you could have a look for an similar organisation in the US?
     
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  3. Alex916

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    That’s a good suggestion I hadn’t thought of. I searched around and I’m not finding much unfortunately, we live in an area without many social wellness programs. It’s been near impossible to even track down an LGBT friendly therapist, much less an affordable one.
     
  4. alwaysforever

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    I've been reading this book by Pete Walker with the title Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A GUIDE AND MAP FOR RECOVERING FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA. It might prove useful. I have been trying to work on getting my flashbacks under control, and it made life bearable and me easier to be around.
     
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  5. QuietPeace

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    A mental health organization in the USA is NAMI, here is a description of them from their page

    I think that the rules allow me to post a link to an outside organization that I am not connected with
    https://www.nami.org/Home
     
  6. Lucy Marie

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    You know the old adage about oxygen masks yes? Yours needs to be on before you can help another. The love and concern you feel for your gf comes across—how amazing must your love be. Love does not conquer all, but it can break through so much. Just please remember about your oxygen, you gotta take care of yourself too!
    ((momhugs))