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Bi or lesbian?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by LoveMarshmallow, Aug 8, 2020.

  1. LoveMarshmallow

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    I've always thought I was bi because I've always felt attracted to men, too. Now, that I'm starting to collect more and more sexual experiences I'm not sure anymore.
    I've slept with a men and I've made out with men quite often. But I always feel a certain 'disgust' of the male genitalia and I don't want to touch them.
    I've never slept with a woman before, only made out. But I don't feel like I would be as disgusted by a woman.
    But I still find men to be attractive and hot, just only as long as we only make out.
    That confuses me. Am I bi and just have a problem with sexual interactions? Or am I just not into men? But I don't want to say I wouldn't date a man...but I also don't want to do things that disgust me just to possibly 'grow into' being bi....
    I know that there's no actual need to label myself. I can be whoever I want to be but maybe knowing more precisely would help make sexual experiences more enjoyable for me...
     
  2. arson

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    Hi!
    So here's what I'm thinking :slight_smile:
    Not wanting to have sex with a guy and not being into guys are two different things. If you still find yourself attracted to guys and would feel comfortable dating or making out with them, you could still consider yourself bisexual. I think you might just be leaning more towards romantic attraction to men instead of romantic and sexual. So you might be homosexual but biromantic in that you're still attracted to guys but just aren't comfortable having sex with them.
    Hopefully this helps!
    <3
     
  3. Joelle b

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    Um, i am in the same position!!

    Only i am a virgin XD. I am also disgusted by male genitalia. Guys look hot to me, but really I dont desire a relationship with one. I am curious about sex, but thats it.
     
  4. LostInDaydreams

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    Just to note, there's no credible evidence to support the idea of a separation between romantic and sexual orientation, and almost nobody credible among professionals believes there's a separation between the two.

    @LoveMarshmallow It’s your feelings not your actions, that determine your sexuality. I was in a nine year relationship with a man and I identify as lesbian. Elements of our physical relationship were fine and sometimes even good, whereas other elements were boring or occasionally disgusting. Sexuality is a spectrum and as much as it would be easier if it was all black and white, it unfortunately isn’t. Things will hopefully become clearer with time.
     
    BiGemini87 likes this.
  5. BiGemini87

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    There's no pressure to sort it out right away. I know it's hard, but try not to overthink it. You've been with both men and women, you're okay with dating men as well as women... I'd say let things come as they may. The sexual intimacy issues you have with men might also present themselves with women too, but if they don't, it might be an indicator that you're more into women than men.
     
  6. Lexa

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    It can be both I think. I'm sure I'm bisexual. I'am attracted to men but only to feminine men. Thinking of sex with masculine men disgusts me and at some point I developed a disgust for the male genetalia too. I know how and why it all happened and I don't have a disgust for the male genetalia anymore. I'll never be into masculine men but that's ok :slight_smile: . I prefer it the way it is now. :slight_smile:
    So it's possible you're gay but it's also possible you have z sexual interactions issue. Therapy can help you with finding that out.