Uncertain

I want to share my story about this.

When I was in high school, it never really occurred to me that I had to concern myself about identities, orientations, and whatnot. Although it somehow boggled me why most, if not almost all, my classmates were preoccupied with romance and crushes. I started reading romance novels and fan fiction stories at that time as well.

While the stories were interesting, I never really could understand what caused the characters to be attracted to each other. Maybe because I had never experienced attraction myself. My only resource about those things were the stories and novels I read. Then, like all things, I got desensitized of the traditional relationship of man and woman, and explored other genre--where I landed at female-female relationships.

Until now, I find them more interesting to read. Traditional pair was boring and too cliche. Could that even be used as a guide for my orientation though? Although I am not that naive enough to believe that that just it.

From my observations though, I mostly found myself looking at females. However, after looking for a bit, my rational mind would come in and everything was back to normal again. To elaborate on that last statement, it is more like I observe them with detachment: what is it that attracted me to her? is it the legs? is it the athletic built? Then... nothing.

I might not have been explaining myself enough, but I just wanted to know if some of you had a similar experience.

Thank you,
Neptune09