Questions about Transitioning from Male To Female. Sex...

First off, I want to start this by saying having sex does not necessarily define how I feel about myself, and it has nothing to do with how I feel, although perhaps it's an affirmation as to who I am?

These questions I am asking are for the Male to Female's who have had the top and bottom surgery, where they have had the bottom surgery with the canal to have sex like a normal woman does.

I can't help but wonder about a few sexual things where Male to Females have had their bottom/top surgeries where they have the canal surgery for sex also.

I have been wondering, and sorry for my stupidity in asking I am still learning.

But if a MTF has the surgery for their bottom, and they have the choice to have the canal, is their any pleasure in having sex? Can they get wet or have an orgasm like a female does?

I would also like to ask, is there any type of age date where a person shouldn't or will be refused to having the vagina reconstruction and canal operation?

If you have that surgery, do you have to by maxi pads and all that stuff? I'm no expert on such things, I apologize if that might sound like a dumb question. But I figured hey I might as well ask.
I will be 52 sometime in the future soon and was wondering these things.

In my particular situation I feel there is no hope or help or nothing. I have no job, no insurance, no money, or at least not no where near enough money for what it cost to even see psychiatrist and such things much less surgery.

Problem is, weighing the cost, it's becoming something I think of all the time 24/7 now. It's like since a transgender friend come out to me that I don't know but have chatting with and didn't know they were transgender until recently because I haven't dressed or anything in years, but it's like "SHE WOKE UP AND IS SCREAMING AT ME ALL THE TIME NOW 24/7".

There is my family to consider, I have no kids but I am starting to get older. I'll be 52 soon as I said earlier. But even if I were to transition, not having the canal and all I would never feel complete. Ever.

I would like to ask someone who has went through this who has the canal and vagina and all of that a few questions :
1 - I have heard various stories where some say you have to dilate everyday for one year and then at least 1 time a week for the rest of your life. I've also heard someone say you have to for 6 months and then that's it, but honestly I have no idea, is this true? And if so, is it painful?

2 - I really don't know, do the hormones have to be shots and you have to get them every week?

A little more about me, you can read my introduction here in the forums for the starting info. if you want to.

I am pretty sure all my family knows. This has affected me all of my life to the point I really have no friends at all and have not had for years and years. I basically haven't gone out or done anything for the last 30 years unless it was stuff like camping with my brother and his friends or when a relative comes around.

I have been shamed by neighbors for the things I do, and if you knew me and saw me you would have ZERO idea just hearing me talk or the way I look that I am the way I am, but I have been shamed by neighbors doing things like spending a lot of time working in the yard planting flowers for my Mom, I've heard several neighbors saying things like "I never heard of a BOY who is into planting flowers".
I could compile a list of incidents like that, but it would fill up these forums.

Anyway, I'll stop right there with the questions. Probably too many, I apologize.

Well, one more question. I am absolutely dying to start dressing up again, even though it will be in private. But I am afraid on how to purchase things. I would love to buy some stuff from amazon, like a wig/dress/makeup/panties/pantyhose/high heel shoes/bra, but I am reluctant because if it's not wrapped properly I would be exposed to my parents and possibly if it was sent to the wrong house and the neighbors were to open it and say "Oh I thought that was what I ordered" then I would be devastated at this point in time because I am just getting started to be the real me for the first time ever, I would rather ease into the swimming pool, not dive in.

Sorry such a long message. Any of this sound familiar to you MTF transgenders who have had the surgery or going to have it?

 

This is not something as to just what I want, this is how I feel all the time. Can't stand being around a group of guys having to put my guard up trying to make absolutely sure I don't show my feminine side of things. It is painful for me honestly. Having sex really has nothing to do with it, although I do enjoy fantasizing that I am a woman and rubbing my genitals like they were a vagina and playing with my nipples and chest.

And that is another weird thing, me being a male right now, when I get turned on my nipples raise up and get hard as a rock, is that normal?

I really don't know what to do. I would like to start dressing up again and maybe wear some panties like I have read online under my clothes and see how I feel after a while. Try and keep things in a safe place, I live in the Bible belt and considering I have an adams apple on my throat it wouldn't matter how I dressed up, people in these parts can get violent real quickly toward that which they do not understand or care for.

Anyway, sorry such a long message and reply. Maybe someone feels like me or knows what I am talking about and can explain or at least relate to what I am saying here.