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Interested in Your Spiritual Journey as a Queer Person

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by wickedwitch, Aug 8, 2020.

  1. wickedwitch

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    Hello:

    I'm interested in hearing about the spiritual journeys of queer folk.

    My own has been long and varied with much exploration of various religions and practices. I have maintained a spiritual practice of prayer, meditation, self-examination and confession (not the Catholic kind) for almost three decades now. More recently my concept of God has undergone a fairly extreme "revision" due to some events that were out of my control, which forced me to confront the inadequacy of what I believed at the time.

    This revision has been a tremendous boon to me and I feel more spiritually connected than I ever have before. However, in the past few weeks I am again examining the issue of who is God (or whatever you wish to call it) in my life and more specifically, how does my belief align with my sexuality or what is God's view of sexuality or something like that.

    There's lots of confusion in the last sentence and that's about where I'm at. I have tremendous grief about my experiences with queer people and this is driving my questions about this. I've posted before (a few years ago) that I have no queer friends, not because I don't want them, but that queer people in general tend to avoid me. Straight, friends, religious friends, spiritual friends I have but no queers. I have no idea why and after about 25 years of trying to be part of the "gay community", I gave up. However, I still yearn for some connection to people with whom I can identify and it's the absence of that that fuels my grief.

    So I wonder how to make sense of these things within the context of spirituality. To frame it in the form of a question I would ask: How do you align your sexuality with your spirituality? What has that journey been like for you? How do you use your spirituality to make sense of problems of sexuality and community?

    Many thanks.
     
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  2. Tightrope

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    I have stopped doing that. It's because I spent too much time thinking about these very things and concepts in the past.

    Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't have stopped doing that. Call it guilt. But I found that it's easier and less stressful to live in the moment and plan for the future rather than ruminate and hypothesize.

    The part you mention about belonging to a "community" is another thing I gave up on as well. It's called a community but it doesn't feel like a community. What the community has it common is that it is made up of sexual minorities. Between the community being small as a percentage yet having so many differences among the people who could be assigned to this community, there's not much in common to foster a true community. Most of my friends are straight, with some easy going gay and lesbian friends. I also believe I have may have or have had some bisexual friends based on how fluid and accepting they are of so many things in life and, even if I don't know their status accurately, I like these free spirited people quite a bit.

    I look at myself and the things I do and feel that I'm not such a bad person after all. I could have done things better. I think about that, too. However, I will not go back to thinking in very spiritual terms about myself, my personality, my actions, and all that. I don't want it to wear me down any longer.
     
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  3. KeLeWi

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    For too long I allowed "religion" to belittle and shame me for my sexuality. I felt like an abomination. When I let go of religion and embraced spirituality, the shame dissipated. I realized my relationship with God (or whatever you call them) had little to do with what is called religion. Loving one another is the pinnacle of my belief.

    I am gay. I was made this way for a purpose. If I can find joy and bring joy into another man's life, I have fulfilled my purpose.
     
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  4. mellissa

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    Frankly, I won't be of much help to you because this is one of the biggest issues in my life. I have a lot of depression because I feel that my sexuality and my faith can't be reconciled. That devastates me. I try to pray that my sexual orientation will change but I don't feel anything. I choose celibacy, but it makes me depress and I fall in a deep hole.
    I wish you the best.
     
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  5. justaguyinsf

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    I have the same struggle, although I stopped praying for my homosexuality to be changed a long time ago and I now recognize and accept (somewhat) that it's always been a part of who I am. I don't believe that committed, monogamous gay and lesbian relationships are inconsistent with my faith, and I believe that God blesses such unions, but a lot of the gay male "community" is hostile to monogamy and commitment. I also agree with the above comments that the idea of a "gay community" is really sort of a fiction, since gay men and lesbians come from every type of background and I think it's hard to hold together a community that is based solely on sexual orientation. I try to take it one day at a time and to focus on the other things in life that I feel more positive about.
     
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  6. OGS

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    I'm not sure how to respond in that I'm not sure I really view these same things through the lens of spirituality. I will say though that I find that sort of sense of grounded connectedness through the gay community, and I guess I'll be the one to say that at least in my experience it very much isn't a fiction. I've felt that sense of belonging to something bigger than myself since coming out almost thirty years ago. These people have been there for me through good times and bad. My husband and I travel a fair amount (well, at this point it feels like we used to) and we've always managed to tap into that sense of community wherever we go. To me it really does feel an awful lot like when I was growing up (I grew up Mormon) you could got to a Mormon church anywhere and still feel like they may do it a little differently but they do what we do. When I meet another gay person even after all these years I still get that shock of recognition, that sense that we're living the same bigger story and it's actually been one of the more meaningful things in my life.
     
  7. Nickw

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    @wickedwitch

    I think this thread is a great idea to engage other LGBT folks in discussing their spirituality and I appreciate hearing how others integrate their spirituality with their sexuality.

    the other part of your post mentioned how you have no LGBT friends. How they avoid you. I wonder why this is and why you seem to suggest there is a correlation between your spirituality and your issues with others in the gay community? Would you elaborate a bit in why you feel you don’t find other LGBT members who share your views on spirituality and that affects your ability to be part of a community?
     
    #7 Nickw, Aug 9, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2020
  8. Love2sleep

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    I have never felt connected to religion, I do however feel spiritual which does not affect my sexual orientation. It is a faith that does not place me in boxes but rather makes me feel free. Not sure if I’m making sense! Lol
    As for not having many LGBT friends, I do not have many LGBT friends and I have been out since my teens! I am hoping to meet more friends here.

    Have a great day!!
     
  9. Shavs1

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    wow good thread. Lately this has been my biggest struggle after my break up. I felt as if God was ridding me from my sins that it had to take a global pandemic for my ex to cheat. And I've been reading my Bible much more and trying to spend alot of time praying and reading, I've sort of come down to the realization that maybe God did separate my partner from me but cause I deserve a better life partner. I think having a one on one relationship with God.. and do as the Bible says in luke 6:31 Do to others as you would have them do to you. I feel thats all God would want us to do. To love and treat others with the same respect one would expect to get to one self.
     
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  10. mellissa

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    1) I'm sorry for what happened. You deserve much better.
    2) I'm grateful that you mentioned that you thought God was punishing you for your sins. This often happens to me. Whenever I start to accept my sexual orientation as okay and non sinful, I feel good for a while. Then whenever the slightest bad thing happens to me, I feel that it is divine punishment for accepting my homosexuality. How did you manage to get over this?
     
  11. Shavs1

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    to
    To be honest I haven't 100% get over it. I just keep reminding myself who the lord was and why and what he did for us and that he loves me regardless 'I may be gay but I am following his word'.. the commandments
    If you'd like to chat.. I'd like to. Have a great day!
     
  12. mellissa

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    I would love to chat. It is hard meeting people who are devout christian and identify as LGBT+. We are a minority of two minorities.
     
  13. Shavs1

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    So true. I've been looking for Christian in the lgbt community.. haven't came across any!!
    Cool hope to hear from you soon