I think I am not living a good life because I am not honest with others and myself... I "pretend indirectly" that I am not gay, even though I want to show that I am gay and meet people who are like me but it seems that I just can't act the way I want to and can't handle this pressure. I try to be myself, but at the end of the day, I am someone who is pretending to be what he is not. I would like to change, be gay openly, meet people like me and enjoy life, but it seems that by being dishonest with myself, I can't enjoy life the way I want to and I feel stuck with this lie. Unfortunately I'm scared to come out of the closet and I'm afraid of the unknown that accepting this label will possibly change my life forever. And that is the problem. I don't know how people are going to deal with this "change" and whether they would like to be present in my life. It is a unique and scary experience. I know I'm exaggerated to think that this could be a disaster, but I don't know what to do.Should you leave the closet or not, I ask. I do not know the answer. I don't know what the reactions of people around me would be like.
Coming out of the closet WILL change your life forever. It will reveal to you many things, first and foremost, those who truly love you and want you to be happy. Unfortunately, it will also reveal those who are homophobic and/or really not comfortable with themselves. It will free you from the stresses of being someone you are not, but it will also provide you with different stresses as you figure out how to be who you really are. What I have found is that those who matter most to me have been very supportive of my transition to a gay man. I wish you well, no matter what decision you make.
Hi @antoniorr, It’s normal to be a little apprehensive about coming out. Do you have anyone that you can reasonably say will likely be supportive? For example, somebody who identifies as LGBT+, has shown that they’re an ally or is usually accepting of others. If so, that might be a good place to start. I was in a heterosexual relationship for nine years, so I understand how miserable and draining it is to keep living a pretence. Remember there’s no right way to come out and no rush to tell everyone at once if you don’t want to. You’ll get there and best of luck.
