1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Questioning

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by question12, Jul 23, 2020.

  1. question12

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2020
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    england
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm a 21yo guy in a hetero relationship. When I was 13/14 I saw a guy I thought was attractive on TV and had a thought that oh that must mean I'm gay. Up until then and after that all my crushes and relationships and those I check out have been women but the worry that I might be gay has always been there. In addition I have sometimes had trouble with sexual performance with women. In terms of my attraction to guys, I sometimes have an urge to kiss guys. Recently I have been attempting to masturbate to gay porn/erotica but can't get an erection - despite this though I can orgasm quite quickly with no erection when watching - similarly with gay fantasies. I have no problems arousal wise with straight/lesbian porn or erotica. I have been obsessing about this for some time now, when I was with my girlfriend a few weeks ago we had a lot of sex and I enjoyed it but now we're apart again I have started obsessing again and spending hours every day reading through empty closets to see if I can relate to different peoples experiences and checking my arousal in different situations.

    Do you think I'm gay?
     
  2. Leynz45

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2020
    Messages:
    82
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Georgia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Do you have this thoughts often.Dou you make tests like watch gay porn or look at pictures of men to test if you aroused.Tell me your dayline.If someone show you a picture of a attractive man.What is your first question.First at all homosexuality isnt bad.You must understand that you dont have fear to be gay.Your sexuality cant be changed.Its your identity.Tell me what fantasies do you like.Try to stop masturbate for one week.Which gender find you more arousing?Test it out.I have the same problem and iam accepted it that iam maybe in denial.Accept that and look what happens after that.
     
  3. TheJack

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2017
    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    25
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    1. Don't freak out. Sexuality is a specturm where everyone is unique in some way.
    2. I find that relating to real life encounters is better than porn or even fantasies. Porn is designed inherintly to be erotic, even the homemade stuff which is made by normal people who just decided to pick up a phone and film themselves having sex. When I'm talking about real life encounters, I'm not just talking about who you look at while walking down the street, I'm talking about actual encounters. I'm talking about taking your partner to a dark corner and wanting to make out with them right there in and then. I'm talking about being aroused by their presence alone. If you feel that with your girl, then you're probably attracted to women.
     
  4. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    @question12, Having such thoughts doesn't make you gay. It's an unfortunate by-product of society (which is actually, finally starting to change) that men tend to be unable and sometimes derided for recognizing beauty and ephemeral attraction in other guys. The fact that you may recognize 'beauty' or attractive features in another male certainly does not make you gay. Or even Bi. It just means that, at least internally, you are open and willing to recognize and experience your own feelings.

    Personally, I think you should continue to explore those feelings because I think it will help you grow as a person. But whether you choose to do that or if you choose not to, is totally up to you.

    My thoughts.
    QuantumReality