For those of you that are health care professional or familiar with mental illness maybe you can help me out here. So I feel like I'm not allowed to accept my sexual orientation. Due to my faith(born again Christian),I believe that homosexuality is sinful. However, I can't become straight and I feel incredibly depressed at the idea of being celibate. Although I've never dated or kissed anybody, I still deal with a huge psychological war. As a Christian, I accept the idea of being celibate, but then I get depressed and want to die. During the brief moments when I do accept my sexuality, I immediately start to feel super guilty and that I'm betraying God. Have any of you previously or currently dealt with this? If you have overcame this issue, could you give me some advice? Thanks for reading
Homosexuality (as we understand it in the modern context) is not sinful. You really do need to let go of that idea because it's putting you in an infinite and life limiting loop that is entirely contrary to the fundamental teachings of Jesus. Being "born again" does not mean being enslaved by a narrow and literalistic understanding of faith and holy scripture; one that snips out small details to undergird a much bigger prejudice, in complete ignorance of the wider story arc or historical context of the passage or chapter. The reason you find yourself in this emotional tug of war is because you have allowed yourself to be dragged into a theological no-mans land that supposes every line and letter of the Bible is God's inerrant and infallible word. It's actually no-such thing and we don't have to regard it as such. The Bible is not a recipe for life itself and you already know that many churches don't follow this approach, because it is so hostile to a good and fulfilling life. Celibacy is another choice we make. If we accept the premise that sex and sexuality is a gift of God, who are we to deny God's gifts? The only reason for self denial is based on a further narrow reading of scripture or desire to take holy orders. The way to move through this is to broaden your faith horizons and consider the depth and richness of the Bible stories. The Bible is to be taken seriously, but not literally like a Harry Potter book. When we mature in faith we begin to look at life through a different lens and it's so incredibly freeing that you will never look back.
Try reading 'God and the Gay Christian,' by Matthew Vines. There are also churches and denomiations that accept and welcome LGBT people, perhaps you could try reaching out to them? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_denominations_affirming_LGBT If you actually read the stories of Jesus, do you think he is someone who would reject you because you're gay? The people he fought against or condemned were those who exploited or oppressed others.
I remember listening to a podcast once sorry I don’t remember the name where it went through the spots in the bible where homosexuality is mentioned or eluded to and they give give new perspective on those passages. Sorry I couldn’t remember. I encourage you to read them for yourself and look at through your own perspective rather than your local pastor/priest/rev’s perspective. And remember what is taught in a church is ones interpretation/perspective.
I also try to remember god is love, god is perfect. So what god creates must be perfect. God created you the way you are for a reason not to make you suffer.
