in the early months of actually embracing my sexuality after years of repression, but (like all things about me) I tend to invalidate myself, I guess because I don't fully understand bisexuality? I find myself thinking that bisexuality is so difficult to prove (either you're in a gay relationship or straight relationship). Or the fact that I'm dating a man means that I'm "passing as straight" and I don't have the struggles of an actually gay person. Or, most of all, it's "useless" to come out because it'll seem like a cry for attention that will never be "proved". Does anyone else who's bisexual have biphobic thoughts? How do I feel validated?
While I've never had bi-phobic thoughts, I think this is because I had no reason to have them. Like, the things you mentioned just weren't things that occurred to me. In my early days of still trying to figure myself out, I kind of just assumed everyone would be fine with it. But then I started thinking I might just be gay. And that's when the trouble started, because I was very aware of how gay people are seen and treated, and that very much frustrated me and brought me to tears a few times. Same for when i started to think I might be trans. Basically, I was so concerned about how other people would see me that I was scared to accept these labels on myself. My advice: bi exposure. Find some wholesome, relatable, bi content, like bi Tiktok compilations on Youtube. I usually feel better after looking at trans memes and such, partly because I can see that there are a lot of others who can understand my experience. It kind of normalizes being trans, and I think something that helps you get used to bisexuality, and and maybe you won't think about how the biphobes might react.
You don’t have to seem bi to others. If you’re attracted to both genders, then you are. People say all kinds of bullshit and you’re not obligated to enlighten them. For example, that you have to date or have some sexual experiences someone of both genders to be bi, or that you have to want to be in a triagle if you’re bi, or that bi people need to “pick a side” or are undecided, or are really just straight because they aren’t gay enough. All of that is bollocks. And you don’t need to prove yourself. If you’re attracted to someone, then you’re attracted.
