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Lesbian Appearance and Fashion: Masculin, Feminin, Other

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by mellissa, Jul 12, 2020.

  1. mellissa

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    I was just wondering about my appearance and what it says about my sexual orientation. I dress normal. I fashion isn't great I just look like any other girl. I don't wear skirts a lot because I like pants, but I always wear a dress to an event. I would never wear pantsuits.

    My questions are for all the other lesbian and bisexual women:

    Is there a specific lesbian fashion style?
    How would you define your fashion style in terms of gender conformity? Is it Masculine, Feminine, etc?
     
  2. LostInDaydreams

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    Lesbians wear all sorts of different clothes and styles. There’s a stereotype look, but not a lesbian style. Dress how you want to dress.
     
  3. alwaysforever

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    Dress in the style that you want to. There are stereotypes about appearance. More often than not, those stereotypes are limiting to self-expression. Style inspired by intrinsic motivation rather than extrinsic pressure is much better.
     
  4. mellissa

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    Thank youLostInDaydreams and alwaysforever for answering and the encouraging words. I got over the idea of dressing "straight" a long time ago. I have heard that some dress in a more masculine way to show people that they are lesbian and to repel unwanted attention from guys. I also heard that it feminine lesbians find it hard to date because they don't fit the "image" of a lesbian. I just wanted to know how other lesbian and bisexual women dressed, and if this caused problems for them .

    For example: I dress in a "somewhat feminine manner. I would say that the only issue with this is that I have sometimes attracted unwanted attention from guys.
     
  5. LostInDaydreams

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    What kind of unwanted attention?
     
  6. mellissa

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    The unwanted attention is guys coming up to flirt with me. For example on my 18th birthday I was walking down the street in a really pretty outfit, (I like to dress nice on my birthday) and a guy at the bus stop starts flirting with me. It is annoying. He wouldn't have done that if I was dressed more "butch" or "stud" like. I'm not blaming myself, it was his fault. However, I realize that lesbians who dress more masculine don't deal with that kind of unwanted sexual/romantic attention from guys.
     
  7. LostInDaydreams

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    Yes, but they probably dress that way because that’s how they feel comfortable. It would be sad if you had to change your style just for this reason. You shouldn’t need to change due to the behaviour of others.

    How do you respond? Do you shut them down?
     
  8. mellissa

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    I ignore them making it clear that I'm not interested. Like that guy I just told you about, I kept saying " What? I can't hear you" He kept repeating himself louder and eventually got tired after the 4th time. There was traffic around so it was easy to pretend that I didn't hear him.

    I would never change the way I dress just to avoid the male gaze. I have too much self-respect and boldness to do that. I just acknowledge that women is more masculine clothes don't deal with that. For example, in school I had 3 guys have a crush on me and it was unnerving. They didn't harass me, they were just friends that just stared liking me. However, there was a girl that was a "stud" lesbian who never had to deal with that kind of attention from males because they can guess that she is lesbian or they don't like the masculine look. Either way.
    I've heard that some dress on the more masculine side to avoid that. This same girl told me that it made dating girls easier because she was more visible to other lesbians. She told me that guessing if a woman is a lesbian is difficult if she doesn't dress a certain way.
     
  9. mellissa

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    Hasn't this ever happened to you? Haven't you ever had unwanted advances from either male strangers or even male friends? I feel like this wouldn't happen if a woman is dressed more masculine.
    Or have you ever had anyone assume that you are lesbian without telling them? If so this could also be due to clothing. This girl at high school, everyone knew that she was a lesbian. She didn't need to say it. When I first saw her, the first thing I said to myself was: "Oh another lesbian in math class"
     
  10. LostInDaydreams

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    I’ve met feminine styled women who I’ve had a feeling were gay or bisexual and I’ve been right. I’ve also met women who meet some of the lesbian stereotype, but are straight.

    Style isn’t everything, but if you want to try something different, then go for it.
     
  11. mellissa

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    You are so right. There are tomboys that are straight and feminine women who are lesbian. I don't plan on changing my style. I feel very comfortable with what i have going on.

    However, I do worry that it might make me invisible to other lesbians.
     
  12. Joelle b

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    Yah, there is no ‘style’ really. I am bi and I dress femininely most the time though I don’t mind dressing in my brothers’ clothes.
    It is true that dressing masculinely presents you as perhaps a lesbian. As a bi girl who prefers girls I lean towards this. Dressing more masculine makes me feel more visible to other people. That’s my take!
     
  13. mellissa

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    Thank you for the input. By the way, in the other thread "The person above me arrested" I was just going off on what the previous person said. If there is some type of special meaning behind it, I'm completely unaware.
     
  14. Lin1

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    I am femme I am into femmes and never have any problem figuring out a femme girl is queer.

    It's more about the vibe and general body language and attitude than clothes, honestly.
     
  15. Mihael

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    Not really :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    But it is true, I seem to stand out to women as someone to flirt with.
     
  16. mellissa

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    That is an amazing superpower. I can't tell if a girl is lesbian unless she dresses in a masculine way or has a haircut that screams queer.
     
  17. EleanorHunter

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    There's a whole spectrum of lesbian fashion, I honestly think it's a subculture in and of itself. There's no one way that lesbians dress.

    Personally, I sway between femme and masc, and I love to combine the two when possible (like wearing a cute little black dress, and pairing it with a big guy's flannel shirt). I like to dress more... alt? punk? I don't know but I probably don't achieve either, just a lot of black clothes and cuff earrings haha. I enjoy dresses and flower crowns but I also rock a button-down guy's shirt.
     
  18. mellissa

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    That sounds a bit like me when I'm not busy going to class. I like to mix stuff up bit as well. I prefer to look feminine, but once in a while, I like to wear steal some clothes from my brothers.