So I’ve been friends with a guy I’ve known likes me for a while. He was a soughpmore and I was a senior in highschool. He’s gonna be a junior next year. I’m finally realizing I actually kind of like him but one issue. Even though he’s 2 grades under me he’s like one of the youngest kids in his grade. And I’m one of the older kids in my grade. So I’m effectively 2 years and 10 months older then him. (Im 18) he’s turning 16 next month. So I’m not here to ask if it’s legal because I know it is and that’s not really the point. Is it ethical to date someone 3 years younger then you? I’ve had confusion over wether or not I like him for a bit and now that I finally think I came to a conclusion bam. He’s fucking 15 and I had no idea. I just wanted some other ppls oppinions.
I would definitely encourage you to wait for a while, to date. Maybe you could befriend him in the meantime and try it keep it platonic? Again, that's just me.
Yea I kinda made the decision that friend zoning him is probably the best decision. Kinda hit hard that he’s the same age as my little cousin and I just can’t do that.
That's very mature of you, making that decision, and that's good. Things can be different and in some cases an age-gap of 3 years doesn't matter too much, like if both of you were in your mid-20s or mid-30s, I'd say. But below-18 is a different ballgame.
3 years is a really big gap at that age. The very fact you are asking, however, indicates you are being thoughtful about this. so much depends on his maturity (and yours.). Waiting a while would be best. And you could (if you were confident in your ability to do so) go very slowly and cultivate a friendship. a lot also depends on whether he is out, his parents, your parents. Proceed slowly and cautiously.
Usually when one of these “is this age gap acceptable” threads pops up, you will get a number of people saying that “age is just a number.” It’s refreshing to see that hasn’t happened here, because while that’s true for certain people (at certain ages, and with certain age gaps), it’s rarely the case where teens are involved. I’ll believe your word regarding the legality of the situation, but that of course is not the issue here nor is it what you’re asking. You seem like a good guy who wants to do the right thing, so there are no bad intentions there. That being said, there is probably a lot of emotional development going on between 15 and 18, and although there may be a friendly connection, the two of you are most likely at different stages in that regard. In other words, an 18 year old will generally be more emotionally aware and will have different desires and goals than a 15 year old. Now jump to a few weeks from now and you’ll (presumably) be in college, where your personal growth will be even faster and more significant, and your life will look a lot different than it does now, while he’ll still be in high school. All combined, I think the best thing to do would be to wait. But it looks like you’ve already made that decision, which is good! And like Ram90 said, very mature also.
Yea I basically made it very clear we’re just friends. Maybe I do have a bit of feelings for him but the maturity gap is very much there already and will only get worse once I start college. I do care about him a lot. I’m pretty sure he got the message that we’re friends after I joked abt being each other’s best friend on Snapchat and stuff. I also told him that I’m threatening any boyfriend he gets. So I essentially just accidentally created a little brother? Uhmm oops? Anyway thanks for everyone who responded. I pretty much made up my mind 10 minutes after I asked the question before I read any responses but it they were nice to read anyway. Was glad to see their wasnt just a bunch of people saying if it’s legal it’s ok. Which by the way why is having sex with a 14 year old as an 18 year old legal(as long as both are consenting obviously) ? Whatever that’s a whole other matter entirely. Thanks for all the responses
