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Is it weird that I mostly get on with people older than me?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Joe2001, Jul 10, 2020.

  1. Joe2001

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    I've noticed this as a pattern and it could explain why I've had issues with friendships and getting on with people my age.

    For starters, I was never a "kid" person. Didn't like them when I was one and don't like them now that I'm older. From an early age, I always preferred to be around people who were older than me. I was that kid who hung out with the janitor during lunch break at primary school as opposed to hanging out with classmates who were my age. This even expands into my family. I get on well with my older relatives who are either grandparents or around my parents age but don't really gel with any of my cousins, all of whom are younger, some considerably (9-10 years).

    Is this weird? Why is this the case? At 18, it's not like I'm going to suddenly be BFF's with someone much older so this could be hindering my chances with friendships at university.

    This also is a thing when it comes to dating - I refuse to date anyone even a day younger than me. My mindset is that he has to be older (not looking at a huge age gap but ideally a little bit, maybe a couple of years?). Is that weird? Probably and it may be a hindrance, who knows?
     
  2. HM03

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    Honestly I can only think of one person I associate with that is younger than me. My friends, bf, online friends etc are all a couple years older than me.

    Making sweeping generalizations, for me I think it's because I was never a party animal (so when I was 19 I was associating with other non party animals, likely people that had gotten sick of partying), love 90s/00s music (more likely to be appreciated by people my age or a couple years older - younger people than me probably find that era less nostalgic), and I have baggage lol. Perhaps there are similar reasons for you.

    Depending how big the uni you are attending, it may not be an issue for friends. Tons of people take a gap year after highschool, fail a class or two at uni and fall behind, go back to school later etc etc so they are a couple years older. The uni friends I stay in touch with are 2-4 years older than me and we met because we were in a class together.

    Maybe I'm just a dick, but imho it may be difficult to date older at your age. I don't know anybody in university that dated a highschooler (unless they were dating beforehand). Same with the upper years dating a freshman. Could just be a regional thing though!
     
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  3. The Falcon

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    I really do not see a problem with this. Although I empathize with your feelings because I know it feels weird when you are young.

    You might be precocious and more advanced than your peers. Most young people care about superficial, childish things, whereas older people are more world-weary and experienced. Your peers simply do not hit the right cord within you, which is completely normal.

    I can tell you that as you grow older you will find the age difference less problematic. At University your age blurs. It is just people in their twenties. Some 25-year-olds are just having their first relationships and jobs, whereas some are already married and even have children and are working outside of Uni. Do not worry too much about it. It all seems perfectly normal.
     
  4. D Artagnan

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    Were you an 'only' child?

    I ask this because I was an only child. I found that when I was younger, I spent more time around adults rather than kids.
     
  5. Joe2001

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    Nope, have a younger sister.

    I'm also the oldest of quite a few cousins and kinda had to hang around with them when I was younger but always tried to avoid that and be around the adults instead.
     
  6. Robyn mac

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    I am 60 yr old. I only dated 1 person who was younger than me in hs. I us ally date people at least 1 to 12 years older than me.