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17 years old, my boyfriend asked me if I would marry him

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Blanched, May 8, 2020.

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  1. Blanched

    Blanched
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    I recently started dating this guy from work a little more than a month ago. I was getting over the crush I had before on a guy from my school that I learned already had a boyfriend. This guy started talking to me at work, got my snapchat, and asked me out. I had thought he was cute before this. We went on our first date at the restaurant in the grocery store we work at.

    We are both 17. Tonight he asked me if I would marry him... With a tik Tok video he sent me that had someone singing "Will you marry me." I didn't know he was actually asking me until he sent me "Are you going to answer my question?" afterwards. I assumed he was asking me if I would in the future, so I told him maybe. He later told me he was looking at rings and to be ready because it might be coming soon. He told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

    It is definitely not in my plans to get married at less than 24. Is it bad I don't have any plans of spending the rest of my life with my first boyfriend? I feel like things are moving way too fast and I'm starting to regret getting into this relationship because I feel I am not good for him because I don't want the same things. I still feel like I would have had a chance with my former crush if I wasn't dating this guy. My mind feels all over the place and I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like I'm not ready for any relationship and I don't know what I should be doing right now. I don't know what to do.
     
    #1 Blanched, May 8, 2020
  2. Shallow waters

    Shallow waters
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    I would tell him that you simply don’t want to be married until you are older, it would only hurt them if you just go along but dont want to. Just because you dont want to right now doesn’t mean you don’t love him, and make sure they know that. Let them know that it simply makes you uncomfortable to marry that early.
    Also If you feel like you want different things in life and it interferes, dont lead it on, no one wants to be in their shoes and find out you didn’t feel comfortable the whole time.
     
    #2 Shallow waters, May 9, 2020
    Last edited: May 9, 2020
  3. musicteach

    musicteach
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    Tell him bluntly but nicely “no”. “I’m not ready for that, and I think you’re moving way too fast.”
     
    #3 musicteach, May 9, 2020
  4. The Falcon

    The Falcon
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    It is too early for both of you.

    He doesn't know what he is talking about.

    Tell him you need time and it is too early for such decisions.
     
    #4 The Falcon, May 9, 2020
  5. Destin

    Destin
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    No. No. No. No. Nooooooooo

    Sorry to be dramatic, but there is not one circumstance in life, ever, where marrying someone you've only known for a month is a good idea. After only a month you two barely qualify as acquaintances let alone getting married.

    To add onto that, there is also almost never a circumstance where getting married as a teenager is a good idea. I'm about to be 24, getting married soon after two and a half years of knowing each other, and that still feels very fast to me. Doing that at 17 after a month is mind-blowingly crazy to me.

    It seems like your boyfriend is really swept up in everything but you definitely need to slow him down and have him realize that you don't need to get married to have a relationship, and that you're not at all ready to make a decision like that about anyone.
     
    #5 Destin, May 9, 2020
    Last edited: May 9, 2020
    Ram90 likes this.
  6. Lyric07

    Lyric07
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    I feel like you need to tell him that you are not ready to get married, but you are interested in getting married in the future. Being honest will help your relationship work better. Also, if you have only been dating for about a month, that sounds waaay too early to get married. Try to figure out why he is rushing into things if you can. That's all I have to say.
     
    #6 Lyric07, May 21, 2020
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