I’m a 35 year old man but pretty sure I’m bisexual as I’ve always found both males and females sexually attractive. But as I’ve gotten older I find myself more attracted to men sexually and women emotionally. It’s taken me years to really be comfortable admitting to myself that I’m attracted to men. And it feels good to say I’m a man sexually attracted to men. I’ve repressed this side of men since I was young. I really think that I might actually be gay, ironically enough the girls I tend to like usually are bisexual or gay themselves. what do others think? Am I gay or bisexual?
I would say you are bisexual if you are sexually attracted to men and women. Congrats in being able to say that about yourself. That is a big step. Peace and Love
Ooh, that's a tough one. There are so many cases where (and this seems to occur more with men than women, or so I've noticed) it's hard to tell if it's genuinely bisexuality, or if it's a placeholder while coming to terms with being 100% gay. On one hand, you could be bisexual, and the fact that you've repressed your attraction to men is just moving the slide on the scale in their direction because it's something new to you. On the other hand, you could really be gay and just have a lot of heteronormative expectations to unpack and unlearn. I don't think anyone can really tell you one way or the other. I think it's something you'll have to discover for yourself. Give yourself time, let yourself experience whatever feelings come up, and try not to let past shame infringe on your discovery. I think, only when you're able to accept it in full (or close to it) will you find the answer. And hey, there's no rush, and no pressure to adhere to a label. Best of luck!
Easy answer which sex do you enjoy having sex with more? I’m a man and like having sex with men more than women.. but I’m physically way more attracted to women.. I consider myself Bi but could never live with a man.. Enjoy life!!
Only one way to find out give it a try... I must admit I wish I did not try it because I now know that I’m gay/ bi and have a hard time dealing with it..
It’s easier for me to me out online and anonymous than it would be in person, but I really started noticing boys in a different way around 11/12.
Congrats on coming to terms with your attraction! That can be a hard thing to do - especially if you spend most of your life being told by other people - or even yourself - that you're straight. It sounds like you could be bisexual with a preference for men, or that you could be homosexual and biromantic. Sexuality is a fluid thing, and it can change over time, which may explain the lack of sexual attraction to women that you mentioned. You said that it feels good to say that you're a man sexually attracted to other men, so you don't necessarily have to deviate from that. On the other hand, labels aren't necessary, but they can help people, so it's up to you. I hope you figure it out!
There's no credible evidence that there are discordant sexual and romantic orientations. This idea has been perpetrated by a tiny-but-obnoxiously loud contingent of people, without any credible evidence, research, or even empirical data to support the idea. Additionally, the idea of "romantic attraction" is described as basically a deep emotional caring for someone with no interest in sex. And, interestingly, we've had a term for that for many decades. It's called "emotionally intimate friendship". But for whatever reason, folks have insisted on creating this nonexistent narrative that seems to do little more than confuse people and delay their discovery of where they are. So... if we discard the idea of "romantic orientation", what we are really looking at is someone who is sexually attracted to guys, and gets along fabulously with women, but has no interest in sex with them. That describes a very large percentage of gay men (there's a reason for the terms "fag hag" and "fairy princess", after all.) Thus, looking at the question of sexual orientation... what you describe, of originally feeling attraction to men and women, but seeing the sexual attraction to women sort of fading away over time, is actually pretty common. For many people, the idea of accepting they are gay is difficult, and so they may simply consciously deny the feelings for a long time. When we can no longer deny it, we have to work to come to terms with the loss of perception we're straight, and with that are stages of loss: denial- anger-bargaining-depression-acceptance. They aren't always sequential, and can take anywhere from minutes to months or longer. But it does neatly explain the diminishing attraction toward women, because as we accept and love ourselves more for who we are, the unconscious feelings begin to come forward, and that's where we feel the same-sex attraction increasing and opposite sex decreasing. Does this mean you're gay? Not necessarily. That's something only you can figure out, and what it really boils down to is whether or not you are feeling sexual attraction to women. If you're always looking at guys' bodies, always masturbating thinking about guys, and don't find much arousal in women... then you're probably gay. If it's more balanced, or even if imbalanced, there's still an attraction to women, then you're closer to bi. Also, keep in mind that for many people, 'bisexuality' can be a bridge during the bargaining phase: "OK, I like guys, but I could still end up with a woman". And as they come more to terms, they may realize that this isn't really how they feel. This is in no way discounting the existence of bisexuality... there are many folks who are genuinely bisexual. And there are also many who label that way while coming to terms, and then accept that they're gay. I hope that helps.
I wish things were that easy, just accept your feelings without labeling; i tried for years, but it seems OR it is too hard to do in general, or I am just not good at it...
I thought I was straight but with gay fantasies when I was younger then bi but Chip's post sums me up well so I now realise I am gay but it has taken a long time. The more I accepted the gay fantasies the more the straight fantasies faded.
