So it has been a while since I posted here, A lot has happened. Good and bad, such is life though. I wanted to post here again because my mind has been racing around a lot recently and I want to understand my situation better before I go to college. Before I begin talking let me just briefly explain who I am, though if you want to fully understand me just look at my old posts. I am 18 years old and I am out to only two close friends though I don’t really know if Bi counts as coming out, I am very much not accustomed to the LGBTQ community or any jarggon, I live in NJ but I will be attending college in Tampa, and A fun fact to end it off I ran a suicide hotline for a while so I am well versed in self help, but sadly I can’t take my own advice most of the time I just help others. So to keep this as brief as possible as to not waste your time, I have had a problem with understanding my sexuality, I have only dated girls in the past but it didn’t ever really feel right. I am not a virgin and my experience with girls is not well, my X’s have always put me through the ringer… Like real horror movie levels but I digress. I have through years of self loathing and introspection have tried to accept myself. It hasn’t been easy, In fact I still feel like I haven’t even moved. It has been very distressing, my parents are fine. We have a great relationship and while I love my parents I don’t really know how they would take me coming out to them. I am an only child and my dad will bust on me when we go to the gym joking about how I better not turn gay. I just laugh through it. As I said I am going to college very soon and I was wondering how other people’s experiences have been. Like have any of you come out in college and how did that go? Did you go into college telling people you were straight and later told them or what? I literally don’t know the first thing to how any of this might go down. I have lived my whole life as a straight guy and I wouldn’t know the first thing when it came to living the other way. I mean I have a very tough time comprehending what I actually am, I like girls one day and then the other I like guys. It’s weird to I don’t have a type for girls but then for guys I like femminine guys though I don’t want to be with a visco girl. I have always had a rough time fitting in in this world, I can conform to any social scenario and I have always made my life about others. I have saved several of my real life friends lives and my friend who I came out to told me I should help myself. So here I am, trying to do that. I just would really like to talk things through with people about comming out or being Gay/bi. I would like to hear your stories. I would like to get some help with this next chapter of my life. So if you have come this far, I truly thank you, you’re a legend. I pray the best for all of you guys stay healthy and I hope to hear from y’all.
Hello Rorschach, im sure i messed up on trying to reply to your post so im sorry for that. Well, my son came out when he was 18, he's our only child and he's been in college. He was pretty smart about how he handled it, first he got some support and guidance from the school counselor. He also got some information printed out for us that was a huge help because it explained what it was like for parents and their child (huge help). The colleges your going to may have an lgbtq club so check that out way before, you could look up on the college website if you haven't already to see if they have one, if they do you could reach out to the president of that club through email. I had really good luck getting support from a hotline number it was a well known one but I can't remember which one for sure so just look up a few and call them sometime they can really help you. Have you heard of PFLAG? Look up your nearest PFLAG they can be a great support as well. I believe that is the most important thing anyone in your situation can do is gather up all the support you can get before you come out to family because you will gain so much knowledge and confidence that you desperately need when you do decide to come out. Your patents will need to know more than anything that NOTHING has changed you are still the same person that you have always been. Like my son, he didn't change just because he realised he was gay he was still our son our child and nothing can change that. My son figured out that he is bisexual about 2 years a go I think. I'll admit I got use to "gay" haaa and for a parent I think its a bit trickier on my brain to settle on the bi but I'm sure it will eventually settle. If you think of any questions for me that could possibly help you a little just message any time. I'll message back soon as I come back on. Stay well!
Thank you so much for replying, it means a lot. Your son came out when he was 18, how was that? Did it come as a shock or throw you for a loop? With the college I am going to I believe there is a LGBTQ club, also there is a community because it is in a city. Apparently there is a safe space cafe, but that seems a little much for me. I don't think I would come out during my freshman year of college, if college is anything like highschool then you'd just get labeled. While I'm not opposed to getting a second party involved to help with the coming out process I think my parents might mistake my intent. Coming out should be a ritual or something that is really personal, If I were to just have a counceler send my parents a packet telling them their son is gay then they might not take that the right way. Also they might be under the impression that college turned me gay, which wouldn't be true. As for Pflag, that is very interesting. I have never heard of it, I mean I don't know anything when it comes to LGBTQ or how to even be Bi so there is that, lol. But an organization such as pflag is very different, I could speak to people who have been in the same situation as me. I just would feel unconfetrable if it would turn into a self help lecture. You see I ran a suicide hotline and while I have helped lots of people with their help/selfhelp I guess I am jaded when it comes to it, also I find it very hard to help myself, I have always put others first. It is just not in my dna to really care for myself in that sense, I have always just pushed through the pain in my life. I have another question in regards to your son, how did he handle having a roommate, did he come out to him or what? I have a roommate, I met him on face book and we have been really poping off. I wouldn't want him to think different of me if I were to ever come out. How did your son work around this, I mean I may just be worrying to much a very little thing, but in my hometown no one really is openminded about much. I may send some emails out, but I do't really know yet. I have to think about it a lot. But again I just want to thank you for your time, it truly means a lot. Stay healthy and if you celebrate easter than happy easter
You're welcome! I'm not sure if I was really shocked when he told me. I remember being very concerned in how I responded, meaning I wanted to respond in a supporting way which I think I did a fairly good job but I think I felt more scared than anything. I felt scared because of the unknown I didn't know how things would be for him, I didn't know how his dad would react and his dad is very laid back almost too much sometimes lol. What I meant about our son giving us information on what it's like for parents when their child comes out is that my son got information printed out I think from the counselor at school but I'm not sure, my son gave me and his dad the information to read to help us. He gave that to us after he told me he was gay, I think he gave it to us days later and it was very helpful. It was almost like he was the parent for a little while helping us to understand and digest it. My son was still in high school when he came out. Our community is more open than I ever realized, the high school had a club which by the way my son supported them way before he came out and I didn't think anything of it I was glad that he did. As far as college my son lives at home both colleges he's attended are here in our city, the first one is not even 10 mins from our house and the other one is only 15 min away. Our son was extremely fortunate at his school there wasn't any problem about him being gay in fact one of his newer straight friends at the time went to prom with him and one of his other straight friends went to a dance with him they had a lot of fun. The college he goes to is lgbtq friendly. Do you live in the U.S.? We live in the U.S. you said your hometown isn't open minded so I can understand how much more difficult that could be. Think of it this way, you know how fear and panic can spread just by the way a person acts? If you remain calm about your sexuality others that care about you and people you spend time around will only know you as you and will realise there isn't anything to get worked up over. If there'd a storm and my dog acts a little scared I remain calm like everything is ok then that keeps him calmer. Maybe it's time for you to be open to new things such as getting more support for yourself, at least you are here so that's a positive thing because you can meet more people here and be free to discuss anything that you want. As far as sending an email to the lgbt club, what I ment was just to the president to see if they had time to talk to you on the phone sometime or meet with you in private, that's all I meant just a private one on one talk with them letting them know your circumstances and maybe get some suggestions from them. Have a happy Easter! Ttyl
I know my parents would accept me, It might take a while for them to comprehend it but I think they would reach the conclusion that you have. While my dad makes off colored comments about gay people, I relish in it. I joke back with him and it is amusing to me because of what he doesn't know. I wouldn't think he would disown me, I just fear he would treat me differently. I slept with a girl in the past, she was good looking and honestly it was a really funny story but long story short I told my dad about it so he would know that I was straight. At the time I was enjoying myself and this was the first girl with no strings attached, meaning that my past X's were crazy. not to divert the conversation to much but my first GF broke up with me and I was totally fine with it, her mom threatened me on every outlet possible. she sent emails, snap chats, twitter, texts, she even went to the school and to quote the principal during the whole situation he said that "that B**** is crazy". But I digress, I told my dad so he would never get suspicious though I am really great with hiding things/masking my emotions. I think it would be really unexpected for my family and for the people I know, like I seem to be really straight... I don't mean that in a defamatory way. I do live in the us, I live in New Jersey the dark side, lol. I mean the weather is bipolar and everyone is one bad day from cursing each other off. Not to say I live in a bad town, just a very small town where everyone is toxic. I have blended in so well through the years and I can't wait until I leave for college. Where I live the kids are not open minded and very much infested with cliques, drugs rule every kids life with the exception of me and some friends. I have not really been able to escape it, I have never been able to experiment either which has just let me repress myself. So your son came out to you directly, and then gave you a packet after. what did the packet say in it? Also how did he come out to you? The first person I ever came out to was a suicidal girl who I saved her life, she wanted to be more than friends and I just had to force myself to come out... not fun. I have been thinking about what you said and reaching out, I was throwing around the idea that maybe I could make an alternate email and directly contact several outlets in the area. Within the college I am going to there is some positions called "pride adviser, counseling center, and support group". Maybe I could email them saying "hello my name is jane doe I am a student who will be attending your university in fall 2020, I wish to be anonymous because I am in the closet. " or something like that which would explain my situation. There is also some sort of lgbtq cafe so maybe I could send out some emails over there as well asking if I could meet up with some people and talk/ hang out. I would assume that there is a lgbtq club as well. As I have said it is really hard to help myself, since I have spent my whole life making it about others. I am very mature and independent yet this aspect of my life I struggle with. I thank you for taken the time out of your day to talk with me, it is very unique to talk to a parent as well. Your son is very lucky to have you. Happy Easter, and stay healthy.
In the very beginning I worried what others would think and how my son being gay could affect him in negative ways. The worse thing was feeling like I was going through a loss and was grieving so I cried uncontrollably at random times for a few months. My husband and I didn't understand that our son was still the same nothing really changed except the idea in our heads that we had a son and he would be a typical boy and man. So when that came up it was like a loss but it didn't take long before both his dad and I felt normal again. His dad felt angry and sad at first he was ignorant and thought it was partly his fault that our son was gay. I think a lot of parents go through that. The information my son got us was explaining what parents go through so everyone understands and it explained how the rolls can get flipped around our son was kind of being a parent to us for awhile let me tell you it was surreal. I can't remember everything that package of information had but it was perfect and exactly what we were going through it made sense of everything. My son would check in with me often to see if I was ok, it was like he instinctively knew and understood that I was very sad and needed to process everything and he would hug me and ask of I needed to talk or had questions. I can't express to you enough how much that all meant to me and how living that was of him. He wss pretty patient with our dumb questions like ....are you sure you aren't confused? We only worry that you are confused! And how do you know that you are? lol we were really dumb about it pretty pathetic. But I will say at least we did have one good reason for thinking he miggt be confused and that's because he's on the autism spectrum (Aspergers) his is considered mild. My son and I were talking in the kitchen one day and I was checking in with him on different things, I asked him if he was starting to think about girl stuff yet because I wanted to know if he had any questions or anything. He used that as an opportunity to bring it the topic, so that's how he came out. He didn't give me that packet of information untill days later if i remember right and i think he got it through the high school counselor she was very helpful. So i kept going back and reading through it off and on. We would make gay jokes sometimes too and my son's friends did it was really funny but he went through a serious time too like right in the beginning of coming out, he was on a real high for about a month after coming out and then he was back to a more normal self. If you send an email to someone you could just usr a first name or whatever you want like you said just let them know right off that you have to remain anonymous for now. I wonder why that girls mother didn't like you? Maybe because she knew what you guys were doing and she didn't want her daughter messing around. Talk to you later. ☺
Actually that girl whose mom was crazy and threatened me, we never wanted to mess around. We just had a loving relationship and we both didn't want to go any further than kissing, lol. The girl I did mess around with was, how do I put this, locked and loaded. I kind of dated her to treat her right, no one had really done that so then there I was. She broke up with me and her reasoning was because I was to nice, but no harm so no foul. I think I am going to go forward with emailing around people who are involved with LGBTQ things in the area and on campus. I am kind of nervous because I have never done anything like this, so it will be interesting none the less. So your son has Asperger, I am quite familiar with autism and its many forms. My dad is a gym teacher and when I was little he would bring me all the time, I would play with severely autistic people. I also grew up helping them as I got older. I have some people in my family who are autistic. At my work place I also love playing with the various camps of kids/ adults who have autism. I also have friends who are on the spectrum, I help them socialize because I know how hard it is sometimes for them to be included and to be able to articulate themselves. It sounds like your son has gotten everything under control though, so that is great. I now understand your past concerns as well thinking that it was only a faze. I guess one of my biggest fears is that my parents would think I was going through a faze, and since I barely understand myself I wouldn't know how to correctly answer their questions. Also from what I gather, people who are Bi apparently people have a tough time understanding them, because gay is such a blanket term it is easier to digest in a sense. While Bi is a more fictional beast in itself. I fear that because I don't understand myself, that they might not as well. I also fear that since I will be in physical contact with them do to college that they might think that something happened in college to make me the way I am. My parents have been joking about how I will "the ticket" in college ans how girls will flock to me. My mom said that I should shoot for a normal girl who is pretty, that sounds really narcissistic but my parents expect since I am a good looking kid that I should have a hot counter part, lol if only they knew where I am at right now. Anyways thank you and have a great day. TTYL
Its so crazy what people have to go through sometimes just because of sexuality and it all comes down to ignorance in most cases. Life can be extremely difficult at times that's for. That's good you decided to reach out to other sources for support. I think its very important that you look up and read on what parents can go through when their child comes out to them, I think it will really help you and in turn will help them by helping them it will be better for you. When we have a better understanding of something it can give us more confidence in what we are trying to convey. I'm sure you know educating ourselves on something will only help us. I don't understand everything about myself things like anxiety but the more I learn about it or anything then I learn what I can do to improve my life so I can enjoy life more and just make things easier on myself and my loved ones because what affects me can affect them. Like you said, you don't fully understand yourself that is why it is so important for you to gather all the support you can get and educate yourself before you come out to your parents it will make all the difference. That's awesome how you have helped others on the spectrum it sounds like you would be an awesome friend to have keep being yourself. My son is very articulate and has been teaching us words since he was about 13 I'm not sure exactly but it's crazy he has a sophisticated vocabulary lol. He is so much like Sheldon Cooper the character on Big Bang Theory, he even had his own seat like Sheldon, nobody could sit in his seat he got better with that when he was about 20. I understand what you mean about bisexuality even some people that are gay don't understand it. So see how that sounds? Gay people want straight people to understand but some of them admit they don't even believe in bi people lol. None of us are perfect even gay people. There are so many differences we can't fully understand everything but we can except our differences. I enjoy talking with you. Thanks for sharing things with me because it will only help me be a more understanding person.
I sent out an email, the person was understanding and was excited by what I had to say. I explained my situation and they answered some questions I had pertaining to the area and what I can experience. They also wished that they would love to speak with me in person, I told them that it might be a while before I could do that. I stated that I might drop by unannounced to their pride club. I will need to look into the parent aspect of all of this, I will have to do research in order to have the right answers to their questions. I will well verse myself in that knowledge making sure to show that this is real and that it isn't a faze. I am good about quelling anxiety so I think that will come naturally when eventually the day of reckoning will occur. I have always loved people on the spectrum and severely autistic people. I greatly appreciate the parents of those individuals because it at times can be very overwhelming, at times the highs are so wonderful and the lows can be so reflective. I actually have a family friend who is a savant. He can tell you everything about human history, but his social skills are very uneasy. Also at my workplace when we have special needs people or camps come it is my favorite part of the season. I totally understand now, so your son is like Sheldon. you must be really proud when he flexes his brain. I have heard a lot of banter about how gay people don't think bisexuality is even real, it doesn't help that I don't understand it either. Like some days I like guys and others days I like girls, It would be much easier if I liked one or the other. That is one of my fears, that since I have never been able to act on my Bi side that people would just think I am confused. I also have a hard time with attraction as well like I don't know what I like about guys, I like more feminine guys which I think would make my parents feel even more awkward. But honestly since I have only experience with girls and I know how to catch their eye, I just don't know how that translates over to guys, lol. The pleasure is all mine, thanks for listening and for responding. Have a great day
I'm so glad you did an email. I know you will feel so much better once you start meeting more people and have the support you need. Try not to worry much about liking both girls and guys, you dont have to explain to anyone how you know because you just know, just like a straight person knows they are attracted to the opposite sex. If someone were to ask me how I know that I'm straight and like the opposite sex I would simply say because that's what I'm attracted to and really it's that simple. I wasn't surprised when my son changed from gay to bi because he likes everyone although I believe he leans more towards guys. I dont care at all who he likes as long as they treat each other good and have a good time together. My son loves history his plan was to be a teacher but it proved to be way to stressful so hes changed his major a few times and now its political science. He's a real geek just like Sheldon he plays Magic, Yu-Gi-Oh, D&D and LARP. He has been going to the comic book stores for years but sadly ours closed about a year a go so the closest one is about 1 hr drive time and now they aren't even open because of COVID-19. As far as you never having a relationship with a guy that shouldn't make anyone think you are confused because we know what we are attracted to and that's how you have to think...dont complicate it and make yourself crazy. You are perfectly fine! Stay in touch ok! ☺
I can't say for sure, but from experience... if your dad has repeatedly made comments like "you better not turn gay" and made various disparaging remarks about gay people... he already knows (or at least, suspects.) This is a common unconscious defensive behavior that parents (especially fathers) do when they start to suspect their child might be gay. So the good news is... even if it isn't really consciously in his awareness, it's likely he's thought about it and wondered, so it likely won't come as a complete shock. As to where you are on the spectrum of gay vs straight... you can probably figure it out. If you find that your eyes go to guys and not to girls... if your masturbation fantasies are about guys and not girls... if thinking about girls (or having sex with girls) didn't really excite you and seemed sort of 'blah', then it is more likely you are gay than bi. On the other hand, if both seem closer to equal in arousal/interest, then you are likely bi. It sounds like you've taken some great steps already. Having people you trust in real life who you can talk to is a huge help and a huge emotional support when you're ready to tell your parents and other friends. One thing, if you haven't already considered it: When you do tell friends, it is pretty likely that word will get out. Once in a while someone is lucky enough to tell someone and have it not repeated anywhere, but that sort of information is simply too good fodder for the gossip mill, and what tends to happen is it spreads like wildfire. So be prepared for that to happen when you do start to tell your friends. Many people describe it as a relief because then they don't have to worry about telling people. And... as I think you'll find, honestly, it is not a big deal to most people today. Keep us in the loop. It sounds like you're making great progress.
I bet I will feel more comfortable after I meet more people. As for feeling attraction to guys and girls, I find it hard. I guess I can simplify my understanding of it to fit the parameters of I am attracted to both, which is easier to digest for people. Simple is always good. It is interesting you say you son changed from gay to bi, the explanation of liking everyone is somewhat of my philosophy on the matter as well. I like everyone, not in the sense of attraction but in the sense of relation. I like the person and the personality. When I go to college I have an understanding in what I will pursue, that being marketing and other business relation majors. But your son is a political science major, that is pretty cool. I have always loved politics throughout history and into present history. Though now I am disgusted by how modern politics works since everything in congress is just a middle school bullying banter that get stuck in a revolving door, but I digress. I was into Pokemon, and other stuff myself. I am more a a video game guy than anything else but I do love the graphic novel the watchman by Alan Moore who is a comic writer. Sorry to hear about the shop being shut down, I know how distraught places being shut down can be. I used to go to several places with my friends but now they don't exist any more. I will stay in touch, stay healthy and have a good day.
In regards to your first part, I have thought about that heavily. I don't think that he thinks that I am gay, there might be a seed planted in his subconscious which could account for that banter, but my dad was also a jock and this could be racked up to his projection of locker room banter. Since I may remind him of his youth, I could be bringing out his youthful mind/jokes. We also have a really great relationship so he may feel really comfortable with saying off color jokes, like you would do with a friend. It is funny you bring up the subconscious becasue I have thought about that thoroughly, especially with a jung perspective of it all. In regards to the spectrum you speak of, that is a huge aspect of my problem, go figure. I have only ever dated and fooled around with girls. I don't find gay porn to be super appetizing. I like more feminine guys and while I honestly don't care about race, I don't have a type for girls that I like. For guys I don't particularly like the idea of being dominated. Also I don't like muscular men which is weird. Whenever I do masturbate I could do either guys or girls, though I have been trying to work more with guys. For me I find it hard to watch some gay porn, I don't really understand the stimuli aspect of it, like for girls its easy to know what to do but with guys its hella confusing to me. I mean this could all be because I have never been with a guy and maybe it just makes perfect sense but for now at least I am lost. Another thing is when I was with a girl, apparently I am "really, really great" and that was a big ego boost. Especially because the girl to put it as nice as I can, she had a long kill streak and I was one of many. Tough I didn't date her for that, nor did I really want sex. But It was fun, but not all sunshine a rainbows. Like it took me a while to finish and Bj's just don't do it either. I have told only 3 people ever, two I am still friends with. and for the most part I think it I am still in the closet so thats nice. I will keep y'all posted though. Stay healthy and have a great day.
I guess I meant to say my son (changed it) from gay to bi, I believe because he realised that girls weren't totally out. I also believe race wouldn't matter to him either..js. My son is also still into video games .....a lot. He hasn't met anyone locally yet. A friend of his introduced him to one of her online friends he lives in another state so they have been in a relationship the last few years off and on its really weird because most the time they don't act like it in my opinion. I hope he meets someone locally but I don't know with him having Aspergers it complicates things ugh. Ttyl
A good friend of mine, she has dated people for the better half of four years online with a couple of different people. It always perplexes me because for me I view relationships as physical contact. My friend has made it sustainable to a degree and while online relationships could work out, I have to agree with you in the sense that it is weird. Since I am only 18 and there has been only so much dating and people in my life I am not the forefront expert nor do I represent my age group but this is a serious problem within America. High school dating is always set up to fail, yes I know and while its not expected to find "the one" within this blip of our existence I have noticed how toxic relationships have become. For the people who are in them they tend (not everyone) to be really hateful and they leech off each other in unhealthy ways. The argument could be made that we are still really young and just learned to walk yesterday, but I personally feel that even ten years ago relationships with people were more sustainable and had more connection. There also isn't an intensive to date either, within my school boys don't want to want to attempt out of fear and girls are pretty high strung that they tend to not want to date. It is a repetitive cycle and I have always avoided it. I only ever flirt at my workplace, I don't want to dox myself but basically I am an entertainer, I work a season job. I look much older than I am so when I am at my workplace people will often flirt with me. Its actually really funny, I will have people my age and older who ask for my number or ask my co-workers about me. This got off track and I sound really narcissistic lol. I wouldn't worry to much about your son, I tend to think that one day the perfect someone will enter my life so I think that it can be applied to your son. While it might not look that way right now, especially with quarantine and all but when everything starts to open up again like bars and cafes then your son will probably go out and meet someone. Anyways I wish you the best, TTYL
I dropped out of college twice but I was college aged when I came out. My mom and dad are divorced and my dad remarried but my mom stayed single. One day while I was hanging out in the living room at my dads house, my step mom(I didn't have a good relationship with her growing up) asked my dad in a half serious tone "what would you do if any of the kids turned out to be gay(I have a sister and two step siblings)?" My dad said, right in front of me, "I would disown them" again in a half serious, half joking kind of tone. I felt betrayed and scared and that moment stuck with me for years. I remember replaying that moment in my head a lot. I came out to my mom around that same time and she had a disappointed look on her face but she wasn't disappointed that I turned out to be bi/gay she was more disappointed that she might not have any grand kids as I am her only child. For the longest time my mom was the only person who know the truth about my sexuality but when I was in my early to mid twenties I decided to finally come out so I came out to a couple of my friends(one of them is bi) as well as my sister and family on my moms side. My dad was the last person I came out to and he did actually almost disown me. My step mom of all people talked some sense into him and stuck up for ME and now my dad and I are on good terms and our relationship hasn't changed a whole lot, if anything it's gotten better over the years. Also, like you, one day I'll find girls attractive and the next it's guys although I generally find guys a lot more attractive than I do girls and I've always been that way. I've come to terms that I'm mostly Homoflexible. I also don't feel like I fit in this world and never really have. My point is, be true to yourself whatever that means to you and just let the chips fall where they may. Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. I knew most of my friends and family wouldn't care but I knew if there was someone I would have issues with it would be my my dad so I was prepared to either never speak to him again or at best not speak to him for a long time. It turned out to be the best case scenario(even better than I expected) and my dad treats me with more respect now than he ever did.
Sorry for that late response, I have been really busy and just saw this, my bad. Thank you for sharing your story, I am an only child and I have had similar banter with my dad. He has jokingly said that he would disown me, but I know that was a joke, but still he has joked about how I better not be gay. Its actually really funny about what you said about your mom, how you couldn't have biological kids, I have thought about that a lot as well. I tend to think a lot about the future and I always wanted kids, I mean I am still pretty young relatively speaking and this has haunted me. Yeah, I think I am bi, its really annoying to because like one day you really think you're straight and then the next your back to liking guys. I hate it so much, I also don't feel like I belong in this world either (that came out wrong) I mean, I have never felt fully connected, I can fit into any social group and put on any face, and I just feel so... different. Not to get all deep and existential because this isn't the place for me to show my poetry or vent, nonetheless I agree with you. I have always lived by hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I have a laize fare mentality to life, because I have found that everything is out of my control. It is easier to sail then it is to row. Thank you for commenting I hope you have a great day, stay healthy.
Just a little update as well, I have been emailing back and forth with the women from the college that I will be going to, she is the head of some LGBTQ stuff and other clubs/activities. She has been really nice and understands that I have to be anonymous. She has told me that the area is very LGBTQ friendly, they have marches, activities, friendly shops, all this stuff that quite frankly, I don't understand. She said that we should meet up at some point when I would feel comfortable enough, so that is cool. Also since I am going to major in marketing she said that I could probably help with other clubs with their marketing/awareness. I am still trying to figure it all out though, feeling may way around things. I write my poetry to help vent my repressed thoughts, and yeah... Hope y'all are doing great. have a good one.
