I’m a 25 yr old black lesbian woman who always seem to fall for white, bisexual, have some sort of mental problem, or been in some sort of abusive relationship, bicurious, or confused, always been with men women... and I hate it, well sometimes. It’s like they always hurt me because they don’t know what they want, or they’re scared because they never been with a woman. And I hate that I always feel like I always care more when trying to pursue a woman. For example, this girl I currently like, we’re friends, and I told her that I like her but she never told me if she liked me or not. This happened 3 months ago and I’m to afraid to ask if she does and by now she would’ve told me something. Have she been having sex with other people? Yes (she’s told me), but that’s what single people do and I can’t get mad about it because she’s not my gf. We’re both in college, And she’s 22 yrs old and she graduates this semester. I know she has a lot on her plate, but I really value our friendship but I do wanna be with her more than a friend. Would I be hurt if she didn’t feel the same? Yeah, but eventually I’ll get over it. With this “lock down” I haven’t seen her in almost a month and we don’t talk like we use to. I’m supposed to give her a letter ( it’s just saying that I’m proud she’s graduating, thanks for helping me, and hopefully we stay friends after we graduate) I’ve told her about it and she asked if it was a love letter? I said no, but I think she’s scared that it is. Basically I just miss her, and it sucks because I feel like our friendship isn’t the same because we haven’t seen each other. She use to always text me first and now I’m the one always texting first and I feel like I’m being annoying and I’m probably not. Why am I like this? Why do I fall for girls like this?
There’s not much you can do about the past...perhaps it would be better to guard against this in the future? Find out whether the woman in question is interested in women and emotionally available before investing too much in it from your side? To a point it could also be a maturity (or sometimes a personality) thing. If the women you’re referring to are in their early twenties, then they may not feel able to have an honest conversation with you and might genuinely not know what it is that they want. They possibly might also like the attention, which might be why they’re not being upfront about not reciprocating feelings. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. Just perhaps be more selective about who you invest in and don’t get too invested too soon.
