My name's Ellie and I'm 15. I was a massive tomboy growing up and there were numerous girls that I realise now that I'd had crushes on. Though I'd only learnt about LGBTQ+ terms such as 'lesbian' when I was in 4th grade and even then it was used in a derogatory way. I didn't know it was okay to like girls or to be a tomboy and it made me feel really secluded from my peers so I started to act "more feminine" and date guys. Just having someone to show intimate feelings towards felt so nice, and I did think it was nice to date guys. But then again when I imagine my future it's with a women. And going into high school I've gotten to see upperclassmen girls who are out and not afraid to show they like women or women and men. Gosh and there are so many nice and pretty girls. But also nice guys? I'm just overall confused about my sexuality right now and afraid to come out or talk about it to people I know.
Hello Ellie, and welcome to EC! Try to be patient with yourself; there's no rush to determine exactly what label fits you. If you find you really need to, though, examine your feelings regarding men and women as honestly as you can. Try not to think about past information associated with it, or anyone else's opinions, but on your own. How do you feel emotionally/physically regarding boys and girls? Are you attracted to both, and if so, does the attraction feel the same or differentiate in some way? If you need to chat or anything, don't hesitate to drop a line on my profile page. Otherwise, there are tons of other people you can talk to, and I'm sure the staff would be happy to help you on your journey.
Welcome to the Forum, My 2 cts... Never try to change who you are just to 'fit in'. We all want to be accepted, but sometimes when I look back to my younger years, I shouldn't have tried to 'fit in' so much. You've got better chances of being loved for who you are when you present your real self, not when you are hiding behind a mask. Yes, at your age everyone is very, very nice and pretty, so... Carpe Diem! See you around!
