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Another step forward

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by cjmiller, Nov 20, 2019.

  1. cjmiller

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    Last night, I attended a support group for gay/bi fathers and left the meeting on an emotional high. I had previously went to a PFLAG meeting, which for me, was a little underwhelming. Most of the attendees were a lot younger and I really didn't feel like I connected with anyone; however, this group ranged from men closer to my age and were in similar situation as me. Some married and closeted to their wives, others going through divorce or divorced. I sat and listed to their stories and at times I was terrified at what I was going to face but hearing each one say that it was 100% worth coming out made me think.

    I must admit going into the meeting I had images in my head of how gay men act and it couldn't be any further from the truth. In fact, they were all like me and if I didn't know this was group for gay men I would have never guessed.

    I left that meeting walking on air cause I told a group of strangers, "I'm GAY" and the sky didn't fall in. It was the first time I really felt I belonged and could be who I am. I'm looking forward to going again and making new friends.
     
    VanBo, maybgayguy, Zancakes and 7 others like this.
  2. Fritzcoop

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    That sounds awesome. I would like to find a group like that. The ones I've found here online seem to really push politics. I need support during the transition from closeted married man to on my own gay man. Is the one you went to part of a larger organization or just local?
     
  3. cjmiller

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    I believe its local. I've done a lot of searches for groups and most of them are geared towards youths.
     
  4. Zancakes

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    I’m so happy for you! And I’m always glad to see gay stereotypes found wanting - I’m about as femme as a gay man gets and even I am far from the caricature that is typically assigned to feminine gay men.

    Keep to this path you’re on, because it seems very healthy and productive. Learning and really feeling that being gay isn’t the end of the world is just the beginning of really, truly living.
     
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  5. SevnButton

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    This is uplifting! Part of the message here is, 'keep looking, there are others out there who understand'.
     
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  6. cjmiller

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    Yes, I'm finding that everyday.
     
  7. Contented

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    What a wonderfully positive message here. The excitement of finally being able to say “ I gay” and feel good about it. My hope is that all those who struggle with compulsory heterosexuality get to experience the liberation of acknowledging our same sex attraction openly without shame, fear or internalize homophobia. Being gay is awesome!
     
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  8. cjmiller

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    I love reading your comments Contented. They always reassure me that my acceptance of being gay is the right thing to do and head toward living my life as an open gay man.
     
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  9. DecentOne

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    This is great you found a group and then were able to say it out loud!
     
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  10. SevnButton

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    There's a bi group that I've met with a couple of times now. It's wonderful and delightful to speak the truth and have it be no big deal, no awkwardness, just understanding.
     
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  11. Biappeal

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    It is nice to read this story. I am married, gay and 58 yo (pretty sure that is the right order). I accepted/embraced that I was gay about 10 years ago but only came out to my wife about a year ago. The first time I told her “I am gay” was amazing and enlightening (and nerve raking)!

    For whatever reason I still get energized knowing that I am gay. However, I feel like I need to come out to friends and be able to engage with the LGBT community. Being able to talk to other men that have gone some of the same experiences sounds ... well comforting and freeing.

    Thank you sharing!