A few self help links. Note the info is not a substitute for therapy.

The lifehack article hits the nail on the head!

 

Does your childhood experience showcase your sexuality?

 

My parents are quite toxic, I guess I have never been mistaken about that.

 

Nah, I’m just asking I’m general if one’s experiences before puberty shows his sexuality

 

Well, the famine behavior doesn’t mean anything per se. There’s quite a few gay men who are into cars and other straight stuff, but still they are gay.

 

i know your reflecting on research in your response. But I am curious what type of research would change opinions or open alternative theories?

 

I agree with the above, the issue of understanding our own sexuality in our youth has less to do with perceived feminine versus masculine behavior and more to do with childhood sexual fantasies or actual sexual behavior. While I can recall thinking about having sex with one girl at a very young age, more often I had very specific thoughts of having sex with multiple other boys at a very early age. As well, I engaged in actual gay physical sexual behavior at a very early age. The only thing I recall doing sexually with a girl during this time period was a simple kiss which I recall hating. Similar to brainwashed, I did engage in some activities that could be described as feminine, but I don’t feel those activities provided direction as to my sexuality.

 

I’m unsure what ‘showcase’ means in this context. Are we talking something almost freudian in relationship to early formative experience?
Is the question actually "Does your childhood experience EXPLAIN your sexuality?” or maybe we’re being asked to speculate on the influences of genetics, in the womb stimuli or early cultural and religious forces we’re subjected to in our impressionable years or some combination of these?
Given my long outrageous family history I’m inclined to suspect I’m part of a long line genetically disposed towards ‘queerness’. ( if you’ll forgive the term)

 

We need to examine the relatively new idea there’s such a thing as a ‘homosexual’ given the word was only invented at the turn of the 19th century. Then we should examine this idea there’s a single important cause of sexual orientation when with any individual there could be one or many. Also, how do we label, for instance, men/women who for their entire lives have only been attracted to the opposite sex yet when being placed in the army or prison etc suddenly discover ’their gay side’.
Also is it helpful, or even scientific, to assume any form of sexuality other than 100% heterosexaulity is pathalogically diseased?

 

Been thinking about this even further. I remember around the time I is was somewhere between 5 and 7 my older brother found a stack of adult magazines in my parents room and with it was a copy of Playgirl magazine. My brother was literally licking the pages the naked girls were on in the Hustler/Playboy magazines. I was focused on all the naked guys in the Playgirl magazine. Lol

 

I’ve never encountered an explanation for some forms of early attraction. From age 6 I was fascinated by a man who sunbaked on the beach in front of our house. He wore, (in those days regarded as obscene) the smallest, tightest bathers. I couldn’t take my eyes of him drinking in his athletic form as if hypnotised. At that age I knew nothing about sexuality, let alone same sex attraction.
Where did and how did this intense fascination originate? I have no idea but it’s still with me 68 years later.
Maybe the fact he often knowingly smiled at me had something to do with it?

Returning closer to the orginal topic, decades of psychotherapy taught me the biggest favour you can do youself is to admit the evils your parents inflicted upon you.

 

Is it to “admit” or is it to find closure? I would suggest the key is recognize and then to find closure.

 

I’m sorry, but the term ‘closure’ annoys the hell out of me. It’s a modern usage that’s seldom defined. Time and again on the evening news one encounters claims from people who’ve been truamatised they are seeking ‘closure’. Some things are never closed but we can learn to accept them as no longer controlling our entire life and if they still do make us what we now are develop coping mechanisms.
The other aspect of such questions is the dangerous presumption formal approaches, such as phychotherapy are a sure solution. Depending upon the psychotherapist/psychologist’s approach you could end up more traumatised than you were prior to ’treatment’. I’m not saying all therapists are dangerous but choosing one needs careful consideration.

 

The term may annoy you, but in reading your own comment you seem to reflect the concept. So don’t use a label, its the substance that matters.