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What is a good reason to enter a relationship?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by 18breanna, Feb 24, 2020.

  1. 18breanna

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    Hello EC,

    I recently started using a dating app to find a female/female relationship, as I am lonely often, and read that happiness can be linked to romantic/platonic relationships.

    But, is it a good idea to enter a relationship because of this? I read such conflicting messages constantly: some sites say it is BAD to enter a relationship because you're lonely and want something close/intimate, but some sites say it is the RIGHT reason to enter a relationship if we want to feel secure and have intimacy with a specific person...which is it? I don't want to misstep and end up in a bad relationship (although I will try not to desperate, as well!)
     
  2. LostInDaydreams

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    I think it depends on what part loneliness plays in the situation.

    You’re lonely, you put more effort into meeting people (friends too) and in the process you find the right person? I can’t see an issue with that.

    You end up in a relationship with the wrong person to avoid loneliness and maintain it? Not a good situation.

    You become dependent on the relationship for company and have no life outside it? Also, not a good situation.

    You should be in a relationship because you want to be with that person in particular, not just because you want to be with someone.
     
    #2 LostInDaydreams, Feb 27, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2020
    Marble Jar, Nelalvai, justinf and 2 others like this.
  3. Nelalvai

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    To build on LostInDaydreams, a story: My first couple years of college I relied on Just One Person for all my social needs, and it wasn't good. If he had class, or work, or extracurriculars while I was lonely then...I stayed lonely. And I started to resent him for not being around to cure the lonely. Not healthy. I got a lot happier when I got my own circle of friends and activities. I think he did, too.

    Relationships absolutely improve your happiness--relationships plural. If you want to go on dates or start a relationship, have at it! Also look into group activities--game nights, gym classes, community band, crafting circles. I'm working on this right now--I just moved to a new state for a job, I know absolutely no one, so forming Team Me is at the top of my to-do list.

    Good luck!