Hi im 22M and for the past few months im doubting my sexuality. It all happened when i shared bath with my guy friend due to water shortage. We took a bath almost naked and i dont think of anything sexual during does time but after a few weeks im starting to find him kinda attractive and started telling myself "yo wtf are you gay?" I just let it happened like nothing happened. Then at some point he's jokingly telling that I'm gay. At that point my mind say "damn i must be gay" but also my mind says no. This the time it gets worst. Now i feel anxious around my older brother. My mind telling "yo suck his d" and my mind telling me no. And sometimes i feel nervous around him for no reason I can accept that im gay but when i try to fantasize them nothing happens. But when i fantasize girls it goes full erect. I tried watching gay porn but i couldn't cause it throws me off but still try atleast watching thumbnails and still feel none. Also when watching some movies even anime i feel a little anxious during some gay scenario (oscar from the office faliing in love in warehouse guy). Even there is no actual gay scene but just like a friend scene with a little interaction im still feeling anxious. I hate since i cant watch the show properly unlike before my questioning happen. I watched a gay film before (i think its moonlight) but i dont feel anything like what im feeling right now. I never had sex only masturbating is my sexual experience. I had only girl crushes back in highschool and fell in love (probably first love)with a girl during college but rejected 3 times. She graduated before the bath event happened and maybe i i just really can't moved on. I don't know for real since im just not into girls right now and kinda hate myself from what is happening to me today
Dodanicu Hey bro, I'm 31 kinda in the same boat right now. I've been having these constant thoughts that I'm gay, I've been straight my whole life, I've only ever dated women and loved women, but have this constant thought that I'm gay. The most important thing is not to stress out about what you arebrhinkkng or feeli g and just focus on you. Everything no matter which way it goes will work out. You say you're a virgin, are you quite comfortable around girls? I'm often quite insecure and this plays into my thoughts around my sexuality and its adding to the confusion. Maybe it would help to not stress get in the gym start feeling good a see what happens, sometimes thoughts are just thoughts, just relax kid.
Life is confusing at times and you shouldn't be hard on yourself. It seems like you are testing yourself too much. It might be best just to take some steps back and relax. Somethings we get curiosities and it is all they are, curiosities.
How do you feel when you think about guys? When you masturbate thinking about men (without porn), how do you feel?
