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How can you tell if someone really likes you or just wants to boost their ego?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by thexboxguy, Mar 8, 2020.

  1. thexboxguy

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    Hello everyone. Let me start by saying I'm a 27 year old gay guy and I'm currently going to a PLC courses (I'm an electronics engineer) and I enrolled in these courses because I want to keep learning more about my career to get a good job and become financially independent.


    So I've been going to these courses since august last year and there's this guy in my class I think I like and I'm 80% percent sure he likes me back but the thing is he's very quiet and shy or at least that was what I thought. The reason I'm saying I'm 80% sure he likes me back is due to a few little things I've witnessed myself, which I won't mention to not extend too much.


    On the one hand, he's been attending to these courses since august just like me and I remember in the past there were times when he tried to talk to me. For example, sometimes he asked me things like how I was doing with my workshop practices or he asked ''obvious questions'' in order to start a conversation I suppose. On the other hand, I remember a few times in the past few months I looked like I didn't know how to do ''certain workshop practices/or tasks'' and when he noticed I didn't know what to do, he immediately asked me what I needed or what I wanted to do or if I wanted help.


    But most of the time he didn't and/or don't talk to me too much. I'm not really sure if it's because he's like that or maybe his shyness didn't/don't let him, even a few times I've noticed he gets like nervous when I'm around. In fact, I haven't gotten to know him well and the course ends in four months (in July to be more specific). I've caught him looking at me a few times, he immediately looked away when that happened.


    To tell you the truth, for quite some time now he hasn't shown any interest and is indifferent to me now. Yesterday I arrived late to class and when I arrived, there were no seats available. So I went to the classroom nex door for a chair, so that I could sit on the desk. Honestly, I intended to sit next to my friends but since those seats/chairs next to them were taken by my other classmates, it wasn't possible. there was a space next to this guy, so I finally sit next to him. To be honest, he ignored me all the time during class and talked to everyone, except me. Actually, I tried to start a conversation with him by asking an ''Obvious question'' whose answer I knew. I asked him how long it had been since the teacher had arrived to the classroom, to which he answered ''he's been here for like 30 minutes''.


    As far as I can tell, I haven't done/said anything to him. Yesterday the teacher told us to work on teams of three people for a ''Workshop practice''. So he chose one of his friends but they only needed one more person for it to be full and I was hoping he would choose me as the third member but he didn't, which is a bit disappointing. Later in the day the teacher told us to make a program in Allen Bradley, he was one of the first ones to finish and he didn't offer to help me with it, although he saw I was kind of struggling with it. He turned his back on me all the afternoon, even though he was sitting next to me (he turned his body so that his back is pointing towards me).


    I don't know if he's being spiteful/resentful because we hardly talk to each other. That's the only reason that crosses my mind, as I haven't done/said anything bad to him.

    Believe me, I'm not really good at starting a conversation, especially if it's about guys I like.

    So what do you think?


    Does this sound like he's playing games/and or playing the ''hard to get'' thing?


    He's 20 and I'm 27 but in all honesty I didn't like what I saw yesterday.


    Do you think I should ignore him from now on?


    Thanks in advance. Any advice or opinion would be very useful, since this post may sound confusing and I apologize for my bad english. It's my second language, though.
     
  2. BiGemini87

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    It's no surprise you're confused; I can't make heads or tails of his shift in attitude, either. O_O Think back, examine your interactions with him: What kinds of things did you guys talk about before he started acting cold? Is it possible someone else in your class said something disparaging about you to him when you weren't around?

    Or perhaps he's caught on that you're interested in him, and is just trying to sort out how that makes him feel? Maybe he's grappling with his own orientation right now and is trying to distance himself from a potential crush until he's ready to accept it?

    I really don't know what to tell you. I hope you figure out what's going on, though.
     
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  3. thexboxguy

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    Thank you very much, I really appreciate your advice.
     
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  4. Tightrope

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    I understood what you wrote. This happens a lot. I think BiGemini87 made a good post.

    Exactly. Think about the things that were said or done around the time he started acting cold. Don't overthink it or obsess about it.

    I've had the same thing happen. The conversation was easier in the beginning. Then it got more strained or the communication didn't increase. It could be that the other person is not comfortable with going onward and it could be their own issues. Easier said than done: be prepared to let it go.
     
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