What do I do?

Sorry for the late reply. Didn't get any notifications for some reason.

In answer to your question: It wasn't an easy process. I suspected it off and on for a little over a decade, and my reactions went one of two ways:

1) Genuinely believing I couldn't be, because I hadn't been in a relationship or done anything with other women, so at the most, I was probably only bi curious.

2) Complete denial, because while I had no problems with others being gay/bi/etc. the idea that I might be was shameful.

There was a lot to unpack there, and I don't want to go into all the details (it would probably wind up too long a post if I did) but in the end, it came down to frequent intimate dreams about other women, some of which I didn't know--and the increase of fantasizing about other women/finding myself aroused at the sight of certain women or around them.

I'm not even sure how long it took me to admit it to myself, but it took longer to say it out loud to myself, and then things gradually went on from there. I'm publicly out (though there are definitely people who don't know yet, as they lack the platform I used to announce it) and though it's like being able to breathe a little easier, I definitely still struggle with it here and there.

To sum it up: it took a long time to realize it, longer to accept, so it's going to take yet more time to erase all the feelings of shame that come with it.

(Sorry, this wound up a bit long after all).

 

Honestly? Nothing. It stemmed not from my own feelings on the matter, but from negative experiences I'd had in childhood leading up to my teen years. For example, when I was thirteen, a fellow classmate and I were making fun of a particular song that was somewhat popular at the time by making stick figure drawings depicting a scene from the song. I drew a stick figure with boobs, got in trouble with the teacher found out, and when the picture was sent home with a note for my mom to sign, she flipped out on me, ripped up both picture and note, saying, "So what are you, a lesbian now?" There was literally no connection to me knowing I was bi back then, but that interaction left its mark--and considering it had come from someone who would profess to be a supporter of people's love, no matter their orientation... Well, in retrospect, it has told me a lot more about her than me. Anyway, there were of course other experiences, and I really don't want to delve into them.

I've...already provided them? I'm attracted to more than one sex/gender.

More or less, yeah. For some it's just sexual, but I think, when I wasn't aware of my orientation, I had budding feelings for other girls, too. So it's not just sexual, but nor is it always romantic.

 

That's all right, I don't mind the questions. I just thought I'd already answered that one. Even if you find similarities, our experiences are unique. Whether you're straight or not, you'll figure it out.