1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Experimented with a guy, don't know what to think right now

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by TheJack, Feb 13, 2020.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. TheJack

    TheJack
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2017
    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    25
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So, I just experimented with a guy and don’t really know what to think. To give some background info, I’ve been a user of this site since I was a senior in highschool. During my senior year, I started heavily questioning my sexuality and planned to hook up with a gay friend of mines multiple times before backing out. After I got out of high school, I sorta came to the conclusion that I really only liked women due to my sexual and romantic fantasies being focused on them (Aswell as porn watching habits, but that’s a little different since porn is a unreliable indicator)


    For the most part, I knew that I was mostly straight, but one day I kinda had the thought about what it would be like to hookup with a guy after all, preferably being bottom since I’ve always pictured myself being the dominant one in my straight fantasies (Although I have experimented with anal play and do enjoy it). I decided to bite the bullet and hit up some dude on ######. The first guy I hit up was inexperienced and his “member” didn’t even enter inside of me. Being on the bottom was really weird and I kinda didn’t enjoy it that much. I went home pretty disappointed and kinda resolved that I only liked women. Despite this experience, I still wanted to know what all of the fuss was about since my experience with this guy was lackluster and couldn’t be considered sex (It was mostly dryhumping)


    About a month after the experience, I got a girlfriend (open relationship) and mostly discarded my horrible experience with the dude. Still, I was still kinda curious about what it was actually like to bottom. So, I hit someone else up on ###### and told him my predicament. I didn’t really care what the guy looked like, I just wanted someone.


    I went to his house and kinda got scared because I didn’t know what was gonna go on. We went into his room and took off our clothes. I got on the bed and waited for him to put it inside. The first time actually hurt like hell and I had to take a break for a minute. The second time, he added more lube and it was a lot easier. I noticed that the feeling of being penetrated was basically like taking a crap and I was worried, but eventually calmed and realized I wouldn’t use the bathroom on him. The feeling of being on the bottom was odd, I didn’t know if I liked it or not. Eventually when things started to heat up, I actually did begin to like it a bit and even started matching his rhythm. I noticed that I wasn’t really hard during the ordeal and started jacking myself off. I decided to ride him and eventually got to the point of orgasm. I said thanks, left, and I didn’t know what to feel. Despite what I thought it was gonna be, I did enjoy myself during the experience, but I don’t think I want to do it again.


    Just before I leave off, I want to state what I’m attracted to. I do fantasize about women (in particular, my girlfriend), my porn watching habits are mostly on women (occasional gay porn if I’m bored), but I have had curiosities with gay sex. Due to this experience, what am I?
     
    #1 TheJack, Feb 13, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2020
  2. Jaimequestions

    Jaimequestions
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2018
    Messages:
    282
    Likes Received:
    129
    Location:
    Washington DC
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hi,

    I would say you are bisexual. After your first experience with a guy, you were disappointed, but wanted to try it again. I kind of think of it like porn. The first time I saw trans porn, I thought it would be one and done, but it evolved into want ok ng to experiencing more. Also you did mention that you enjoyed the second experience while you enjoyed it, you also fantasize about women. If you find yourself to be with another man, then I would suggest that you might be repressing your feelings after the experience. Sexualities can change with time.

    Peace and Love
     
    #2 Jaimequestions, Feb 13, 2020
  3. Ariake

    Ariake
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2020
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Missouri
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Possibly straight but questioning.
     
    #3 Ariake, Feb 13, 2020
  4. BaconBacon

    BaconBacon
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2019
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    Uk
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone

    I feel am pretty much like you but haven't had that much same sex experience. Sometimes I think we are over thinking things and constantly trying to label ourselves. Then when we label ourselves we try and live close to the label. If we aren't living the label we get confused and question ourselves again so the loop continues.

    I have gay fantasies and possibly up for trying it up the future due to thinking if I can explore things in life why not? I ask myself, who do I love romantically? It has always been women and I have only ever had crushes on girls. I think whats the point of all this questioning, I am sick and tired of this constant questioning. I am doing this so I can be with someone and love them not just to have sex. There are married couples that haven't had sex in years and they are together, not saying I want to be one of those haha.
     
    #4 BaconBacon, Feb 13, 2020
  5. regkmc

    regkmc
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2017
    Messages:
    197
    Likes Received:
    86
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I don’t know what you are, but I am also equally capable of having or enjoying sex with a woman or man. I seem to be more able to fantasize about being with a man (didn’t do it for 38 years).

    I have often felt that I needed to fully embrace the gay side of me (I feel 0 shame being with women) in order to move forward in my life.....so I am continuing to meet people and have experiences.
     
    #5 regkmc, Feb 14, 2020
  6. TheJack

    TheJack
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2017
    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    25
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yeah definitely. I think I need to adopt the more roman view of sexuality just so I don't get confused. I never had PIV sex with women yet, done plenty of oral though. I will say that having sex with guys seems to be a hell of alot easier than with girls. I literally was able to have sex in under an hour with the guy and the prospect of getting sex that quickly is pretty appealing (although, I don't think I wanna bottom again for obvious reasons). Lol, sometimes I wish there was a straight version of ###### for the opposite sex. Before I start back experimenting with guys again, I'm gonna experience PIV.
     
    #6 TheJack, Feb 14, 2020
    BiGemini87 likes this.
  7. hatemylife

    hatemylife
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2020
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Portugal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Sounds bi to me
     
    #7 hatemylife, Mar 8, 2020
  8. hatemylife

    hatemylife
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2020
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Portugal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Might be heteroflexible tho
     
    #8 hatemylife, Mar 8, 2020
  9. Chip

    Chip
    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,559
    Likes Received:
    4,757
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So what complicates getting a clear answer is your conscious mind getting in the way. Most of us are heavily conditioned to believe we are (or should be) straight, and so information that contradicts that tends to be minimized or filtered, to the point that we can put up barriers to the physical enjoyment even.

    You were curious enough to try two different experiences, to try bottoming and to go back to it even after it initially hurt. Men are hardwired to feel arousal and excitement from anal stimulation so that alone doesn't say much. What really matters is what you feel not about the sex act itself but toward the person. And it doesn't sound like either of the experiences you had on the hookup app would be something that would lead to real attraction, and thus, aren't terribly helpful in figuring things out.

    So a better route might be to try actively fantasizing about guys when you masturbate, and to find guys you find attractive in porn, and watch them. And just see what that does for you. If you openly masturbate (without porn) fantasizing about guys, it might begin to unlock something for you. Or... it might be entirely "meh" or less the whole time.

    It seems likely that you aren't gay, as you seem to really dig girls. Whether you're bi and have definite genuine attraction to guys might still be up for discussion.
     
    #9 Chip, Mar 8, 2020
  10. hatemylife

    hatemylife
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2020
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Portugal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It’s hard to tell what you are... U might be a straight dude who had gay sex/heteroflexible/bi curious/bi. But what made you question yourself in the first place?
     
    #10 hatemylife, Mar 9, 2020
  11. hatemylife

    hatemylife
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2020
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Portugal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Do u find men sexually attractive?
     
    #11 hatemylife, Mar 9, 2020
  12. hatemylife

    hatemylife
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2020
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Portugal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Do you find men sexually attractive?
     
    #12 hatemylife, Mar 9, 2020
  13. BaconBacon

    BaconBacon
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2019
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    Uk
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I thought I did but I was mistaking anxiety for attraction.
     
    #13 BaconBacon, Mar 10, 2020
  14. hatemylife

    hatemylife
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2020
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Portugal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Then you are pretty much hocd sufferer. Ty for you reply. As for gay porn, I get an arousal whenever I watch, tho I don’t wanna get off to it. The reason I watch it is cuz of my hocd.
     
    #14 hatemylife, Mar 10, 2020
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)