Came out twice and still confused...lonely, enjoyed touch, but feel something is missing?

My question is for bisexual women and lesbians! I am really confused about my sexuality and I was wondering if anyone can relate?

A little background: I came out as a lesbian about 4 years ago, I spent a lot of time thinking things through and waited until I felt pretty much absolutely certain before I told anyone, even though I had only dated men but I had always attractions to women that I hadn't been able to act on. After I came out it took me a couple of years to get confident with myself and my lesbian identity. Then after I finally did, I met a guy and was shocked to realize I had a crush on him. However, nothing happened between us. But I did have butterflies around him and for the first time in my life had sexual fantasies involving a guy. So I came out again as bisexual, but feeling kind of confused and stupid about it. After my feelings for that guy went away, I stopped thinking about men at all again and pretty much only felt excited about the possibility of meeting a woman. I have been trying to meet a woman but I guess I am not too good at online dating and it has been very difficult.

Here's my problem: recently, an acquaintance of mine (who does not know about my sexuality) offered to set me up with a friend of hers. He is a guy and we have been out twice, and last night we were making out kind of a lot. I am confused because of my reaction. I had not been with anyone physically in a long time (I had also had an illness earlier that prevented me from dating for about 7-8 years) and I was turned on by his touch. He was very experienced and knew better what to do than other guys. So I was like, wow, I should feel so lucky, he is trying to make me feel good and I do! However, when I would open my eyes I was always kinda disappointed that I was with a man and not a woman. He kept asking "what are you thinking about?" and "what do you want?" but what could I say? I want boobs?! hahaha The guy is a great guy, but we don't know each other very well and so I don't really feel like we have much of an emotional connection. I am not sure if I was disappointed because I just don't have romantic feelings yet, or maybe I am not attracted to him? Or maybe I am actually not attracted to men when it comes right down to it and just enjoy pleasure wherever I can get it since I have been so lonely (which is kinda sad)? I told him I didn't want to have sex right away but that I do eventually if things get serious, but in all honesty even though I enjoyed the making out in a physical sense I really still don't want the sex, and so I never have had sex with a man before (or with a woman, but that is solely due to lack of opportunity). And then I spent all this morning watching the L word and wishing I had a girlfriend and kind of hoping that guy and I wouldn't see each other again. So, what do you think: am I really bi? I don't know what it means that I can make out with a guy and be turned on but not really feel very much of a connection or want to go further and lose interest right afterwards. It seems like that always happens with every guy I have dated--it usually feels good to an extent for the first time or two, and then I lose interest, and I never want to go all the way. Is it just too soon and I am not giving it a chance? Or does it mean I really am a lesbian? Can I be a lesbian and enjoy something like that with a man, even for a while???? I feel like if I told him I thought I was gay, then or now, (and there actually was an opportunity) that he would laugh because honestly I did enjoy the stimulation and I had really been craving feeling wanted that way, and he knew I was enjoying it. But he would say things like "I can tell you want me" and I was thinking to myself, "not really but we can keep going cause it's kinda nice," but I think he really did mean it when he said he was enjoying it and wanted me. I felt like I was experiencing it not normally in some way, like something was missing still, and like I was just using him because it felt good...which is not something I ever want to do, and I feel bad about that. I was trying to just let go and be into it and enjoy it because I thought I could do it, but it still felt like I was enjoying it on a superficial level, if that makes sense? I didn't mean to do anything wrong at the time, I thought maybe this is what it should feel like to be straight, but now afterwards I just feel confused. I couldn't sleep all night.....

Sorry for the long post! I have already come out twice and I am getting sooooooo frustrated not knowing what I am!!!!!