1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I think I undervalued social acceptance

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Dreamsexul, Jan 18, 2020.

  1. Dreamsexul

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2019
    Messages:
    337
    Likes Received:
    90
    Location:
    Devon, UK
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    As much as I've prided myself on being emotionally self-sufficient, able to endure being an 'outsider' and cut-off from the swim of things, I think I've undervalued my own desire to be accepted by others.

    Whilst I can live a pretty happy life without the approval or endorsement of my culture, or even of any sub-group, I think that to truly reach my potential capacity for joy and life satisfaction I would require some level of genuine belonging or social acceptance.

    Stoic endurance against disdain or disapproval is not enough. I want society to change so as to count me on the 'inside', for people like me be represented, even celebrated. Being politely ignored is not good enough.

    Yet I also know that it won't change in my lifetime. Society is not ready. Being a lone voice crying in the wilderness is tiring, and dispiriting. I don't want to be always fighting or arguing for inclusion, banging on the gates. I want to be welcomed within without fuss or effort. With smiles. As I am.
     
  2. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    4,300
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That makes sense, everyone wants to feel a sense of belonging - it’s in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

    I imagine some people feel it more than others and we all feel it more or less at different points in our lives, but I think most people (or even everyone) can relate to this feeling in some way or another. Of course, the cause will be different for everyone.

    It is hard, though, when there’s no clear way to create that sense of belonging or it seems unlikely to happen any time soon. Hopefully you can find it among some people, if not yet society as a whole.
     
    Dreamsexul likes this.
  3. Dreamsexul

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2019
    Messages:
    337
    Likes Received:
    90
    Location:
    Devon, UK
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thank you. :slight_smile: I too hope I can find it at least amongst some group. But it seems very unlikely, tbh.

    Fortitude may be the only option for present.

    Oh well.

    There's worse things in the world than being a lone wolf.
     
  4. BaconBacon

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2019
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    Uk
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone

    Forgive me if i am being to simplistic. This group of people is apart of society and we accept you, you are apart of society. Sometimes when your fighting all the time you forget to look at the small things and appreciate them and this forum is one of those small things.
     
    Rin311 and Dreamsexul like this.
  5. Rin311

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2015
    Messages:
    272
    Likes Received:
    144
    Location:
    Earth
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think it's an ongoing search for a group, or a person, that would give us the validation and belonging we need as human beings. There's nothing to do but keep searching. Take care.
     
    Dreamsexul and Chip like this.