first time experience....or..i knew I was..

I knew somehow even before puberty I wasn't straight. I pretended to be bisexual till42 and even got married but I now live openly gay, authentic and happy. I definitely enjoy physical stuff much more with guys.

 

Looking back I knew I liked boys super young. Unfortunately do to others actions I retreated (I don’t count these experiences as my first since I was way too young to consent with the ones that could be in a gray area)...

But my first experience I count was pretty awesome. I was 28, and had already came out and got a divorce because I knew I was gay so.

 

I knew for sure when I had my first time with a second guy. The first guy wasn't bad or mean but we were young enough it was a bit awkward.

 

I guess after I finally had sex with another guy for the first time I thought "There's no turning back, now." And proceeded to have sex with two other guys. I've had four sexual partners, now. One woman, three men. Two of those partners I'm still friends with, although the one guy lives several states away and I just communicate with him online, anyway. The other guy I'm very good friends with, but he warned me to never mention that we had sex that one time. I'm not having sex with anybody right now and I haven't in over two years. My extreme sex drive and high libido impairs my judgement and because of that I've never worn a condom or had a partner who wore a condom during sex with me. I've been tested several times, including once in April of this year and it's all negative so that's a relief. I'm pretty much abstaining because I know I can't control myself.

 

I knew I liked guys around puberty but never acted on it. I general looked at women but in my alone time fantasied about men. I buried those desires for most of my life until I came to accept who I am later in life.

 

So I have a friend who I joke with about my sex drive because it seems I’m always ready to go. I mean almost every night in the middle of the night I wake up hurting because another part has woken up first lol. This has lead to me to having a good bit of fun with well into the double digits of guys. If anal sex happens I’ve used a condom every time... the two times it was close calls I stopped myself because even in those intense moments I knew it wasn’t the best move for me... So having a high sex drive doesn’t mean you don’t have safe sex. You should want to have the safest sex so you can have a lot more of it lol! I mean after every time I get test and come back good I tend to go out to celebrate with a variety of sized condoms lol I mean you never know what you gonna get haha

 

I lack a good sense of judgement to begin with. The first time I had sex, when it was with a girl, I didn't fit into the condom because I'm a pretty well endowed guy. She said "It's okay, I'm clean," and I knew for a fact that she had an IUD in so pregnancy wasn't something I was really worried about, either. I took her at her word and when I got tested years later her word turned out to be good. So I kind of throw caution to the wind. I know that I shouldn't, but being horny seriously impairs the way I think. It takes over my whole being and I can't think straight. If I were horny and my partner offered me heroin, I'd probably do it if I were horny enough. This is why I abstain. I cannot control myself when I'm sexually aroused and I do things I shouldn't do when I am sexually aroused.

 

Oh god I know what you mean my first blew my mind it started as curiosity but I decided I like sex with guys and I consider my self gay now

 

Well for me it was close to a month ago in which I decided to answer my bicuriosity question in a sex theater (it took me several months to get the courage to do so and watching YouTube videos regarding what to expect), I gave oral to another man I liked it (to my surprise). He offered me anal (he giving it to me or me giving it to him), but I declined (we barely knew each other and it takes more preparation than just oral sex). After the experience my mind felt like processing a lot of information for one week and a half (it felt like I was reading 3 books at the same time, nothing painful or traumatic though). I also experienced a lot of arousal and a need and craving to repeat the experience again (to my surprise since I thought that it would be a one time deal and that would be it). I don't have done anything since that experience but I am looking forward to repeat it again (maybe also anal if I get to know the right person and with the appropriate preparation).

I always was very skeptical regarding any form of sex (Catholic background) and was surprised for the pull and the sensation while doing oral (I was surprised that a mere oral sex act could keep your body in a hold and full of pleasure). I was very impressed specially by what seems an "outside pull" that kept me doing the act and don't let me stop until the oral sex was done.

 

The "pull" in my experience could be described as a sensation that runs through the body and will keep you immersed in pleasure as well as a sensation to keep engaging in the sex act regardless of what happens around you, it was like a force (to describe how it felt) that keeps you engaged. It was weird in my opinion but something that keeps me wondering: what it was?. Well I don't know but I am glad that it kept me engaged and enjoying the experience. My first sexual contact with another man for me felt like a blessing and one of the best gifts given by life (regardless of all the material things that I received this Christmas this experience with another man was the best Christmas gift that I received this Christmas).

 

Curious that you mentioned that your first blew your mind, since the same happened to me (I guess that at a neurological level and since it is a new experience a lot of neurological connections happen during and after the experience that make the mind feel like being blown away).

 

The first time I kissed my tulpa-like lover through a cushion I knew that I was experiencing something I'd never been able to have with humans. It was like some sort of out of body experience. I was alive! And I love it.

 

Many years ago, the first time I was with a man willingly (I am also a survivor of child abuse).
I was quite frightened, initially I thought that I was only going to let him fool around with me a little but once he started giving me head I was his completely, he could have done anything he wanted to me. I'm sure that people in the next town could hear me cumming as I shouted his house down.
Unfortunately after we'd finished it led to many years of denial and a few other one night encounters.
I finally learnt to accept myself as bisexual a few years ago and although married still fantasize about making a man as happy and fulfilled as he made me.

 

Wow, I wish I could experience something similar, for me so far I was able to answer my bicuriosity by performing oral xxx on another man.

 

If you went back to the theater I feel someone would be happy to accomodate you.
The problem with acting out your fantasies is that sometimes you let the genie out of the bottle, as you've found out.

 

My first time experience changed the course of my life. Up to that point sex with women was ok but nothing special. I knew immediately after my first sexual encounter with another man that this unbelievable connection physically and emotionally was what I was missing. Without a doubt I knew I wanted to be gay and out as soon as possible. Never have looked back.

 

Wow, I wish I could get to be alone with another man one on one (after the theater experience I don't have done anything else yet), in a room and experiment like that, for me the experience that I had with a cock was exciting to say the least and it had an effect on my mind, my perceptions and my body like I never imagine it would (I mean it was just a simple act in which the mouth and a body part was involved nothing else special), but thinking about it and realizing after the experience that the body have many neurological connections and that sensations that affect one body part can have an effect all over the body plus my lack of experimenting with another man and my senses and body perceiving that a chance of "actual physical contact with another man (in a sexual way)" and the actual physical opportunity of experiencing instead of just theorizing about it might have done it's part in the brain releasing many kinds of naturally produced chemicals that give the sense of pleasure and kept my body and all of me engaged in the moment submitted in the act and receiving pleasure (to my surprise at the same time). I would really love to repeat the experience (also to my surprise I could even remember the smell of the organ and it would kept me aroused even the day after and would have me wish to do it again if I had a man willing to had it done to him on that next day, I learned a lot that night and get to touch a wild side of my body that I didn't knew that I had, "I mean even getting aroused for a memory of a smell", come on, only animals I thought would have that happening to them but a human being, that was something that wouldn't fit in my rational mind until it happened to me and even to this day give me a fond memory of the experience")

 

Yes indeed!!! and before having the experience with another man I always thought that it would be a one time deal and done but no I just was left after the experience with a desire to repeat it again and a memory that would get me aroused when I am alone (after that experience I didn't have repeated it again but I really want to). Just the memory of the actual contact and how it felt even the smell of the organ, to my surprise that even kept me aroused for the day after, something that I thought that only could happen to an animal but not to humans, I mean come on we are a rational species, but to my surprise that even was blown away for me by the experience, so yes even a smell associated with a sexual experience can get you aroused.