Hi all, Just wondering if any of you have found therapy helpful going through this? I was seeing a therapist about the problems in my marriage and eventually me and my husband decided to separate.... it was only after this that things came up in my therapy sessions that made me start talking to her about my attraction to women... I’d always known about it but told myself it had nothing to do with my marriage (I know ♀️). Not sure how a therapist is meant to help with figuring all this out - am sure that they will have their own ideas but didn’t think it would hurt to ask you what’s been helpful too! RunningWoman x
Hi Run2019, Welcome to EC! I started therapy for myself as I was trying to figure out things. I’d interviewed a few therapists, all listed as LGBTQ friendly, and settled on one that seemed a good fit and also took my insurance. It did not take many sessions before I realized I was bisexual. I stayed in therapy to help process things as I came out, especially to deal with the stress of my wife being on the emotional roller coaster. I spent most of my sessions talking about her, as I love her and want to stay married. The therapist didn’t figure things out. I did the figuring out, but the therapist asked good questions and helped me feel confident, and helped me get a wider perspective.
Welcome to EC, Run2019! I've never been married, so I can't talk exactly about that theme. However, I've been in therapy for a few years, because of anxiety. I feel much, much better now, comparing to when I started the process. Therapists aren't magical beings who are going to solve all of your problems for you. However, they are also not random people to whom you go to only whenever you feel like venting, like a friend. They are trained to help you with your doubts and your "mind confusion". You will need to work with your therapist and with yourself to reach your goals. If you do that, then, yes, therapy can be extremely helpful. Yes, therapists are humans and they have their own ideas. However, a good therapist isn't like a cheap coach who is there just to say things like "Follow your dreams! You have to change your mindset to a victory mindset! You need to work harder and smile in front of a mirror while saying <I am a champion!> whenever you feel tired!". Nope, a good therapist knows how to balance that with his/her studies and techniques, and that's why they are able to provide real meaningful feedback to his/her clients, instead of hollow advice from cheap books. If you feel therapy may help you, I'd say go for it. Maybe schedule a session with a therapist and just see how it feels.
This is a good summary of what my therapist did too. My assumptions and approaches to things were challenged through questions that made me see things from another perspective. I initially went to therapy because of my sexuality, with my (heterosexual) relationship being the secondary issue. Eventually this switched and we rarely dealt with my sexuality directly, but if I felt the need to explore it, I would go back to therapy.
I've been in therapy for a while, trauma, depression, anxiety and marriage issues. It's been very helpful. I've seen a couple of therapists in the last 7 years and I really think therapy with a good therapist is beneficial. It's been especially helpful as my sexual orientation only came up about 7 months ago (a decade of denial) and I'm processing that, and how to move forward as I'm in a heterosexual marriage. A therapist can help in a lot of ways and if you're thinking about it, it's worth giving it a chance and seeing if it's helpful in some way.
I've been going to therapy for the last 7 years. The turn over is bad, but I work with what I have. I first went because I had no idea why tears were flowing when I was feeling fine. It turns out that I was not fine, I couldn't deal with an abusive husband. I have an anxiety disorder, and throughout the years, therapy has helped me cope with life and set boundaries. I always knew I like women, but it took a lot of work to accept myself for who I am. Therapy is a lot of work, and it is important to understand how much your mind and body can take when you are going through therapy. Some days are more exhausting than others. I am glad to say that I am mentally healthier and with the boundaries my marriage made a turn around and husband is no longer abusive. With the right therapist, it will benefit you for sure.
I liked your post but I liked this part the best. Unless a person has a terribly flawed value system, they should be able to work within the client's value system. This can be tough when the therapist and the client have different life perspectives, politics, and that. Therapy has been helpful and I am fairly satisfied with my therapist. Today was a rough session for me. I felt like I was venting and it was draining on him by the time I left. My stuff is slightly in the present and more in the past. We do work on how past patterns come into the present. We did some of that today. I don't think it's as mind churning as some other stuff he has seen. Still, I left with a slightly downcast feeling. I probably leave with this feeling 1 out of every 4 or 5 sessions.
I'm looking forward to a bit of therapy. I've been put on a list to talk to a therapist after I broke down in my GPs office and told her everything I was going through. All this whilst having a smear test. Wasn't my finest moment lol
