I recently posted about pain I’m trying to deal with and one of the responses made me concerned that it might come across as a discouraging post for folks who are just coming out, as if life is all doom and gloom and it never gets better. It’s not that way at all. I find it valuable to sort through pain but that’s just my way. I also find it useful and important to take time to look at all the beauty in life, and I think I’m due a good post about that. I would love to hear others’ experiences in feeling positive things about coming out. so I’ll go with some things: the overwhelming feeling that I associate with my life now and as a result of coming out is freedom, I feel so free of all the chains of being closeted. I really can’t stress enough how amazing that feels, and I often like to take time to remember that actively. I feel like when I walk through the world, I can be totally myself and it’s so incredible that I have this gift of having had to dig deeply to build my sense of self to get here. Confidence, self love, love of life. I’ve always been a very positive person but the process of coming out has strengthened me so much, I feel stronger, more open, more vulnerable and more deep sense of pride in myself. Openness and richer friendships and relationships. I’m so lucky to have the amazing people around me. I believe coming out has deepened the fulfilment in my relationship with even my daughter, it’s made me a more raw and open person and given me the opportunity to build deeper friendships. I’m lucky to have a huge queer community as well. Knowing myself better, having a deeper understanding of who I am. It feels really wonderful. deeper vulnerability and intimacy. Because I’ve finally experienced intimacy with my authentic self and I’ve opened up to my sexuality, I feel like that has awakened so many things in me. I’m so grateful for the things that have come before as well. right now I’m in a stage where I’m trying to confront some of the pain so I can grow and be a better version of me. I believe that being grateful even for the pain allows me to be a more full person. I’m especially grateful knowing that the best is yet to come. Share yours
Me too - absolutely! It's good to be open and honest. Empowering. Yes, me too again. Not there yet, but I'm working on it. I'm hopeful that maybe in a few years, after I move to a less isolated and more urban location, I can find friends. And they'll at least be able to get to know the 'real' me now. Definitely me too!
I’m so glad you’re feeling so many of these things. It feels so incredible doesn’t it, to be feel so much more free and to feel so much stronger. you will get there with the openness in relationships! To be honest I’m not fully there either, I am there in many ways but I have chunks of my life where I’m still working through this. I’m so lucky to have the people in my life that I have but a lot of that is community I built after coming out. My family and friends at home are super wonderful but i am not quite at the point of feeling I can totally be myself with them. It’s a journey
This is just a small thing. But it has made me happy. Nearly 5 years ago when I came out I was feeling totally alone, no real friends in the city let alone any queer friends. Today I decided to bring together all my queer friends from here in my city on Facebook to make plans to meet and see each other and share things and I have in several hours had 44 people join. I have lots waiting whom I’m waiting on their response to their invite. I have a huge community, it’s amazing.
So i posted that i started this facebook group thing, and i'm really happy about it. I have been trying to find ways to maintain my friendships, get time with friends, make new friends, look for people i might build more than friendship with, and it feels really positive, so many people really like this idea! It already worked last night, as i used the group to say, i've finished work and i would love to hang out with one of you awesome people. And i got to see a friend on their way home from work! It was great. I'm really looking forward to using this way of connecting to build on my queer friendships .
I have no idea if anyone is up for reading that other thread i started because it got so cluttered, but if you do want to read it and just cut past the clutter, i'll just mention here i added another post with new thoughts: https://forum.emptyclosets.com/inde...o-accumulated-pain.482712/page-2#post-6689489
I abandoned fbook and only do instagram these days, so sorry. But good luck with making friends and being social!
That's inspiring, and it validates moments of magic that I have experienced occasionally when I am living in authenticity. Funny thing is that those moments of magic just don't seem to happen when I've retreated into safety.
Thank you, I’m so glad it resonates with you <3 that’s so true what you’ve said, that the magic happens when you take risks, it’s only in being vulnerable that we can get the real reward of joy, peace, strength.
