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How much do your family accept you?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Dreamsexul, Jan 3, 2020.

  1. Dreamsexul

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    I've been fairly lucky, though not totally so, with my family.

    They have been quick to accept my queerplatonic marriage, and to some extent accept that I am effectively asexual (it's complex), but they struggle somewhat with my genderqueerness.

    How about you guys?
     
  2. Benway

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    My Mom ignores it and only ever talks about it if it's brought up specifically. My Dad completely ignores it, acts like it's not a thing at all and as if it doesn't exist. My brother largely doesn't think about it, but mainly because it doesn't bother him. My Dad's mother doesn't know, though I think it'd be hilarious if she did because she'd probably freak out and write me out of her will (something I'm thinking of asking her to do, anyway).
     
  3. Andrew99

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    Pretty much everyone I’ve told, has been fine.
     
  4. 0to21

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    Not very much.
     
    #4 0to21, Jan 5, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2020
  5. OGS

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    Pretty much entirely at this point. My husband and I have been together 23 years and I think if most people in my family had to pick between him and me they'd choose him.
     
    Drizzle likes this.
  6. Ram90

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    My parents don't accept me at all. It's been over a year since I've come out to them and they act like that never happened and like I'm straight.
     
  7. HM03

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    My dad - He's nice to my bf. But tells everybody we're friends. He doesn't understand things and doesn't seem to try.
    My dad's side - Don't even know I'm gay. They're super religious and conservative. Thankfully they all live far away.
    Brother - Indifferent, just like I am to his gf.

    My mom's side are very nice to me about it, and I feel like they like my bf much more than my brother's gf. Being a douche, it's nice since my dad's side loves my brother and his gf while I'm asexual to them lol. Different sides of the family favour different people, so it kinda balances and is fair.
     
  8. Jakebusman

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    Told my friends and family already knew
     
  9. max95

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    Nobody in my family knows it yet but I'm sure, my father would not accept me because he uses the f word on gay people. One day I was talking to him about a gay politician from by country and he asked me "Do you know that he's a faggot"? This happened months ago and I couldn't believe that my father is homophobic but it's no surprise since he comes from a religious family...

    Anyway, I'm going to move soon to a big city to live and work there without them... So it's not going to be big deal for me.
     
    #9 max95, Jan 7, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2020
  10. pollution

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    My family is very mixed about it. My brothers honestly thought I was a lesbian, my birth mom fully supports me and even put up a rainbow magnet on the fridge without me knowing and my dad was on edge at first but is fine now. The only one that struggles is my dads wife. She says she loves and supports me but I need to fall for a guy because being attracted to women is a sin and god doesn't like it. I even got verbally attacked at bible study and all she did was ask if I was in my feelings and tell me I should listen to them. She also likes to say I don't know what I like because I've dated guys and girls and to her that's not the meaning of bisexual..... idk. She even called my pride flags raggedy. Basically she wants me to hide my sexuality 24/7. Sorry this turned into a mini rant but how do you guys deal with parents like this? because I have so much support but she's the one I live with and work with everyday so I hear it 24/7.
     
  11. lookingup9

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    My parents have only mentioned it twice since I "came out" about 10 months ago. I say "came out" because what actually happened is they cornered my sister when I wasn't home and asked her if I was gay, so it wasn't exactly on my own terms. But I had been hinting at it I guess.

    Anyway, it was super awkward and I was grateful at first that it wasn't worse, but really they won't talk to me about it. Neither of them have mentioned anything about me being gay since last June when I went to pride, and then also went on a date with a guy and they asked me if I was confused.

    But no one in my family is really treating me any differently so I'm grateful for that, but it's hard being the only gay person in a conservative family. My relatives aren't bad people but every time we get together, they bring up stuff that I just disagree with so strongly that I'm uncomfortable. I was having anxiety at Christmas, I just feel so alone.
     
  12. xp243

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    I've been married for almost 34 years out to my wife for almost 4 years and she still does not accept it.
     
  13. Joe2001

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    I'm not out to any family members but if I was to have a guess, pretty much everyone in my dad's family would be fine with it. Non religious, they seem to have gay friends, don't seem to have a problem with gay people and always seemed to accept me for being me which I think is key in determining how they would take it.

    On the other hand, I don't believe that my dad himself would take it well based on past comments on LGBT people and his opinions of feminine guys. My mum is very Catholic although not totally anti LGBT. I can't really call how she would take it TBH.

    As for her side of the family, don't know and don't care. Don't plan to tell my extremely religious grandparents (they are 76 & 83 anyway) and it isn't the rest of her family's business - I don't get on with any of her nieces/nephews and 2 of her 3 siblings. I also definitely think that being gay would be another stick that my immature younger cousins would use to beat me with just like how they always pick on me for my weight and being 'weird' (I do not like them at all). In addition, I feel more judgement for being myself on their side of the family.
     
    #13 Joe2001, Jan 12, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2020
  14. LaurenSkye

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    I'm not really out to my family. I think they believe/suspect that I am gay, they don't know that I am genderqueer, and quite frankly I think I would have to explain to them what exactly that means, and for me that is much worse than actually telling them. I have reason the believe that my parents and brothers would support me personally, regardless of their overall thoughts on the issues. I'm not so sure about extended family, though, as I do have an aunt who is homophobic.
     
  15. Horus

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  16. Horus

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    It does not matter if you swing your bat this way or that way or both ways you can still hit a home run.
     
  17. Horus

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  18. steadfast87

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    My mother accepts me more than my father does. I really hope he comes around someday
     
  19. jj2047

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    Coming from a traditional Asian background with traditional parents, I don't think my parents support it.
    I haven't really brought it up to them, but I don't see a point in trying to change their minds, because it's fundamentally ingrained in their beliefs growing up in the Catholic Church. My siblings and my close friends are more accepting and even supportive of it.