Hi there!! I’m new! there is probably a thread similar but here we go... im a 31 year old Male. Marine veteran, and as rugged as it gets. so I’ve known that I was attracted to men from a pretty young age. I had even experimented with my childhood friends. The extent was being naked and dry humping and touching each other “down stairs” I knew I enjoyed it, but it ended quickly and I was sad haha. I had secretly reached out to gay men, my age.. from school who everyone knew was gay. Meanwhile I would have girlfriends and be “straight”. But I always craved being actually gay and being the girls gay best friend. So many girls knew what I was curious about. And I had my first oral encounter with a man when I was 17.. and I loved it! BUT... I still dated women. And had sex with women. than I joined the Marines, and the first platoon I was ever in, had 3 gay Marines.. boy was I excited. I had a few hookups with one, through our a two year span, strictly oral, but I wanted more. And one of them, super closeted (but we all knew) I had a crush on.. for about 3.5 years, and I was still married.. I got home from a deployment and got a divorce (she found gay porn in my phone) and I finally told him I legit had a crush on him.. unfortunately he had gotten out of the Marines, and so we talked via Skype and text. We had feelings for each other and I always dreamed of him and such.. Fast forward too about 2 years ago. I was engaged to ANOTHER woman, and let me say.. everytime I got with a woman I have always thought it was it. I’m straight.. maybe bi, but I figured that they are all I want and need. 7 months to a year in, in every relationship I start fantasizing about men.. and feeling gay and wanting it so bad.. last year I came out on Instagram, I said I was gay and it felt so damn good.. and I was happy... but again.. I got with a woman and now we are married.. im so lost!
Hi AvgjoeUSMC, I have no qualification to tell you what you are. I would bet you are bi. Perhaps you can visit a military therapist? They might help you work through your unsure, concerns. I hope you find acceptance, clarity and love. Warmly, Jacqui
Welcome to EC AvgJoeUSMC, In some ways the label may not be the important part. You know you are attracted to men, and you find a woman to be all you want and need at least for a while. Does your new wife know? Instead of finding out the way your first wife did, how would it go if you talked to your new wife?
Yeah I can see what you’re saying! And she saw me come out on IG, that’s how we met. I just feel like I should have gone and been out as a gay man. I was in Afghanistan when I came out, and came home and immediately started dating her
Therapists should night really give you answers. They are there to guide and help you come up with answers. They just guide and facilitate. Sincerely, Jacqui
I don’t recommend trying to determine your sexuality by a poll. Anyone who tries to tell you how you should identify is bringing their own expectations, assumptions, and experiences into your personal decision. None of us can know how you really feel or how you experience attraction—both romantic and sexual. You mention dating, having sex with, and marrying women, but the way that you talk about them here makes me wonder if you’re with them because you’re really attracted to them or if they’re just people you like and you feel like you should. When you’re with a woman, are you happy in that relationship? Or do you always feel like seeking out a man to be with instead?
I know it sounds strange. It starts out as.. a mutual attraction, where everything.. atleast I think it’s supposed to be like, is a normal relationship between a man and a woman. But I revert back to fantasizing about men, and wanting to be with a man. I get super fabulous feeling too.. I pull out a jockstrap just to wear and feel sexy. Idk I feel like I’m complicated. And it’s really hard
Which of the following would you prefer: A) A romantic relationship with a woman, but also with regular sex with men B) A romantic relationship with a man, but also regular sex with women C) An open polyamorous relationship with both a man and woman and regular sex with both It might be you're heteroromantic homosexual. Just to offer another option.
That’s a good way to put it into perspective! I’d have to put more thought into it, but at this exact moment, I’d say B
That’s a good way to put it into perspective! I’d have to put more thought into it, but at this exact moment, I’d say B maybe so is it unusual to have a certain feeling that I’m gay, but also have these feelings?
That’s a good way to put it into perspective! I’d have to put more thought into it, but at this exact moment, I’d say B maybe so is it unusual to have a certain feeling that I’m gay, but also have these feelings?
